« Prev 1 2 3 Next » Reply Share Thread Facebook Twitter Tumblr LinkedIn MySpace Email Go to Previous Thread Next Thread Please make a selection first Author Topic: Pensive (Jack) (Read 709 times) Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 16:54:44 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top (Pre-warp) Night was falling, the sun fading early in winter as always, and somehow Aaron found himself in front of her goddamn tree. At least she wasn't under it right now, he wasn't ready for that. He'd have stood there dumbly, his throat refusing to let in air or let out words, or he would've screamed at her and told her to get out of his life forever, using his powers to drive her off if he had to, or he would've started bawling like he was newly born and thrown himself at her feet and confessed every wrong he'd ever done and begged for clemency. Where had his guts gone? There was a time not that long ago he'd have had no trouble calling her out for what he considered bullshit. Maybe he was putting things off too much, but everything since that day at the wayward house had been a blur, he wasn't even sure off the top of his head how long it had been. He'd barely slept, barely eaten. Told people, as many as would listen, he needed some space for a while, needed to figure himself out before he figured out him and anyone else, as much as he wanted to hear from them. As much as he wanted them around, as much as not seeing soft blonde hair and glittering green eyes at this tree stabbed into his heart. He'd been such a fool, strayed so far from what he wanted to be, what he was supposed to be, and he needed to think. To plan. To work. He'd made an arrangement with one of the workshops on campus, to give him time to work on something that had struck him like Director Makaila's lightning or the Empire's pain beams after Leif and Zora dropped him off at his pod that night. He couldn't have the workshop all to himself all the time but he did have a block of time reserved for him, whenever nobody needed it for classes, and every day he made as much as he could of that time. Art was nice to do for fun, and to help his creativity and thus his power, but this was different, the urge to create seized him by the heart like the fist of John Allcott himself. He'd had just enough contact with people as was needed for his classes and training, or to let those he cared about know he wasn't dead. Would it be enough? This project? Who knew? He prayed it would be, and he was someone who'd hardly ever prayed in his life and wasn't even sure who or what he prayed to. A cosmic "to whom it may concern" so long as whom it concerned wasn't Rath or literally Satan. The tree's branches swayed in the breeze as if smugly looking down on him, like her tree was having its own private laugh at his heartache and the questions in his mind and how he'd been stabbed right in the back. His doubts, his wonderings on if it was selfish to even care. Didn't he want to be a hero? Didn't a hero care more about other people than his own feelings? He did know it was selfish and immature to feel mocked by a tree of all things, but here he was, staring at the rustling branches and a part of him considering for a moment that he could easily reduce it to sawdust. But he would hate himself for that, for harming anything that had value to her, so instead he sighed and put his back to it and without realising slumped into the spot she usually used for her seat. He sat and thought, not just about her but about missions and coming storms and sentient beings dead at his hands and all the things he didn't want to be he was starting to feel he was becoming. He didn't want to be a failure, or a monster, or a villain. Was it too late? And what about what was coming? What about when it was kill or be killed out there? He stared at the watch she gave him, the watch he promised he'd never take off unless he had to, as if it would give him answers, and kept staring when it didn't. Then, with a thought, the world around him turned black as the void, the kind of complete darkness that swallows even the chance of light, every photon, every shadow. Slowly, at first, a creeping cloud emanating from himself and mixing with the night and the shadows cast by moonlight, then all at once in every direction with a great push until he felt like he couldn't add any more. Then it went up, and up, and up, until the dark cloud was above the walls and started condensing into a sphere. Smaller, and smaller, so that when it lowered into his outstretched hand it was beach ball sized and didn't harm any of the branches over his head. Then smaller still; his last best was a little smaller than basketball sized, let's see how much more he could do. He'd made another promise, after all, one to Jack. Every day he would train, and do this exercise. Say whatever one wanted about Aaron, you'd have to kill him to make him willingly break a promise. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 16:57:25 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Well that's dark." Jack walks up, hands in his pockets. Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 16:58:28 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Pun intended?" Focussed on his own thoughts and making the ball smaller, at the moment, he didn't entirely realise who he was talking to. Not just yet. « Last Edit: Feb 7, 2016 16:58:55 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 17:00:30 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I haven't decided." Jack says honestly, watching still. Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 17:03:50 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "It was pretty clever, for what it's worth." It hadn't made him laugh, but it was clever. The ball didn't seem to be freaking out or anything yet, that was good, so he kept working at it. Seeing just how small he could make it. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 17:19:48 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I can be." Jack shrugs. He's still just watching. Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 17:24:11 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I'm sure." For a while, the mysterious voice stopped existing as the ball of darkness condensed further and further, taking in everything Aaron could feed it. Every thought, every feeling, every doubt, every physical bit of darkness. Smaller and smaller, darker and darker, denser and denser. The improvement would brighten his spirits immensely, most days, but it hadn't been "most days" in quite some time. Then, he caught something in his peripheral vision and glanced over, without taking his focus off the sphere, and Director Makaila suddenly existed. "Oh! Sir. I didn't know it was you." Still giving the sphere just about all of his attention, he slowly got to his feet. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 17:27:07 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "That's fine." Jack shrugs again. "How's the exercise coming?" Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 17:32:58 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Pretty well, I think. It's getting easier." Aaron looked over to check on the size of the sphere, still working on making it as small as it would go. "Still a long way off from your lightning spear, I'm sure, but I feel a lot stronger than I was back at that elementary school." Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 17:38:54 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "It's a good thing to work off of, that's true." Jack nods, watching as the ball seems to start shaking apart as it goes a little smaller than basketball size. Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 17:49:31 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "That's how I look at it. If I want to beat the big threats out there, protect everyone from the real monsters, I can't stop working." On feeling the ball start to shake, Aaron suddenly switched his focus back to it, trying to hold it together! Jack would easily be able to read the brief surprise and then frustration in his eyes. He would harden the outside edges of the sphere as he tried to keep pushing, so that the darkness inside would hopefully be trapped. Put that way, it seemed almost metaphorical. If a bit on the nose. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 17:56:31 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top It stops shaking, but it doesn't shrink any further. "Mmm. That's one way to look at it." Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 17:58:54 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Yeah." Aaron would focus on trying to push the ball just a little further, spurred on in part by Jack's presence! Come on, power, don't humiliate him in front of his boss... "I know I need to work on my other agent skills too, not just raw strength and fighting ability. But I can't do anything if I'm too weak to defend the people I care about." Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 18:03:29 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Sometimes." Jack shrugs again, and the ball seems to shudder, before it starts breaking apart again. "But then again, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 18:07:04 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Who said anything about no play, sir?" Screw it. He wasn't going to risk it exploding and destroying Sarah's tree, or hurting the Director, or going off and knocking down one of the Academy walls. He'd done the day's exercise and learnt a bit of a new trick, good enough for now. Training had always helped when he was feeling like this, at least a bit. « Last Edit: Feb 7, 2016 18:07:27 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 18:08:10 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I did." Jack looks over at him instead of what he was working with. "I don't see you do anything other than work." Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 18:10:29 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "You don't see me very often unless I'm working, though. I try not to bother you by making social calls to your office or anything." Not trying to argue, but, well, it'd be like the principal of a school saying to a student, 'I only see you here when you're studying.' And besides, the Director had come to him, tonight. Not the other way around. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 18:18:53 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Except you live at the school." Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 18:21:17 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I do." Aaron dispelled the darkness sphere and looked properly at Jack, mild confusion in his eyes. He didn't want to outright ask what that had to do with his own point, it felt disrespectful, but the question was in his expression. ...Was Jack having him watched? That would either be flattering, or creepy. Or both. Crattering. Fleepy. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 18:22:22 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Jack just looks back at him, impassively! Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 18:25:59 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Staring contest! One the Director won, because maintaining eye contact with him for too long felt like it came off too much as a direct challenge, to Aaron. It seemed disrespectful. "Sorry, sir. I was trying to figure out where you were going with that; you have this whole Academy to run, so it's not like you see me all that much, full-stop, you know?" And Aaron only ever tried to contact the Director when he felt it was important. Imagine if he'd called the office just to ask about Jack's day? That wasn't his style. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 18:34:52 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I try to keep tabs on all my kids. Admittedly, I don't do a great job of it, but I do what I can." Plus, there's a damn lot of them. "And I never see you do anything but train." Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 18:40:42 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Jack didn't see him do anything but train. As in, personally, with his own eyes. But that felt like a pointless argument, especially since the Director was being nice. Even though he'd shut out a lot of people to sort out his own internal mess, lately, someone being nice and showing concern still helped. Instead, he sighed and leaned against the tree, nodding. "I like training; some people don't like the hard work, but I actually think it's fun. And I do other things, but lately I haven't really been in the mood. I came out of my shell and it hasn't gone well, I've got a lot of stuff to work through before I can try to patch everything up." Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 18:51:57 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Patch everything up sounds like you did something wrong." Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 19:01:14 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Yessir." He ran a hand through his hair as he thought. Obviously, he needed to get a haircut at some point, at least trim it a bit; another casualty of him shutting out his own needs for the time being, much like it'd be visible to Jack that he's been eating and sleeping a lot less than usual. Dark circles had started to form under his eyes, just a little, and unnoticed by Aaron. "I've wronged people, been wronged but I'm not sure it isn't my own damn fault. And I haven't been acting like the hero I should be, that I want to be. I've been such a damn fool and I've been trying to find a way to fix it, to at least get people to give me the chance to - and I have to fix myself before I fix any of those bridges. I have to find the path back to being the kind of person worthy of the people I care about." And the woman he loves. "Training's part of that, it's not all I do but it helps. It's meditative, you know? And if I stop training then I start thinking too much, and I stop getting stronger." 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