« Prev 1 2 3 Next » Reply Share Thread Facebook Twitter Tumblr LinkedIn MySpace Email Go to Previous Thread Next Thread Please make a selection first Author Topic: Pensive (Jack) (Read 708 times) Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 21:25:26 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Time off is the exact opposite of what I need. There's too much going on for a break, for me to just stop. It'd be running away, admitting I'm not good enough, or... something. Keeping busy like I've been trying to do is keeping my own thoughts from eating me alive like you warned me about." « Last Edit: Feb 7, 2016 21:26:20 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 21:26:44 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Or a great idea, since you won't be getting people killed." Jack nods. "You're doing a great job of selling me on it. Unless you start to deal with these issues, you're going to be taking a vacation until you can." Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 21:32:17 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I am. I'm not Eric, sir, I can't pull the solution to every problem I face right out my ass. I have to actually come up with plans and work towards them." Ah, and there it went. At least Aaron had the decency to blush and look away. "I'm working on things, sir. Part of why I've not been doing much but working and training lately - I'm trying to keep busy and focus my mind so I can plan. There's this project I've been working on, I've been trying to keep it hush hush. I don't know if it'll do any good but I have to have hope." If it came off as begging not to be sent on vacation, maybe he was, in part. Time off from Paradigm would mean time either shut up in his pod, where everything smelled like her or reminded him of her in some way, or at home, with just house staff, because Mom and Dad were in Europe on some hush hush mission. Either option would have him bouncing off the walls within a week. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 21:56:48 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Then prove you're dealing with it. Stop this self doubt bullshit and man up." Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 22:03:44 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "How do I prove it?" Not the doubtfulness of a minute ago, more a direct, interested inquiry. That "man up" might or might not have been the slap in the face he needed. At least temporarily, like a blast of cold air right to the face to wake you up in the morning. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 22:08:15 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Be confident. Deal with your problems directly, instead of just whining about them, go solve them. If it's with a person, either talk it out or fight it out, I don't care which. If it's with a situation, learn about the situation until you can solve it." Jack sighs. "There's no need for you to ever be your own enemy. Don't focus on beating yourself up, because you're going to be the best person you can ever rely on." Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 22:23:12 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top That sounded more like 'what to do about it' than 'how to prove it'. No need to torpedo an honest attempt to help with that, though. Or with the fact being confident landed him in this mess. Being confident led right to him being stabbed in the back. Still, himself as the best person he could rely on? And here he was, having taken a job with Paradigm because he cared about other people more than himself, supposedly. Here he was, obviously having barely eaten in days, when his body was used to so much more than that. Here he was, not wanting himself. Not really, or at least, not just himself. Rely on himself, when all that seemed to do was open himself up to a knife in the back, and get people hurt? Or killed? The idea tasted foul, but he could sort of grasp where it was coming from. "Well, I'm working on it, sir. I never planned to sit around crying about it, I've just been taking time to put it all together - figure out what I want, where my priorities are, and get some stuff done. Felt like if I was too busy fighting myself, not knowing what the hell I wanted, trying to work things out with everyone else was a lost cause." Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 22:34:12 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Well, now you know to stop that. Don't fight yourself, deal with the other people." « Last Edit: Feb 7, 2016 22:34:22 GMT -6 by Jack Makaila » Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 22:48:12 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "That's the idea. Get myself on the right track, figure out where my head's at and put it in the right place, then work on the other stuff. At the end of the day, I came to Paradigm for a reason, and I've gotten off track from the kind of person I want to be; I have to put myself back on it." He'd turned selfish, angry, the kind of person who'd take people a bit for granted, who would take a life without a second thought. Maybe killing did have to happen now and then, but as easily as it had come to him in that basement? He shuddered at the thought. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 22:55:23 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "...I thought we already established where your head was at, and you were gonna fix the shit with the other people now." Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 22:59:43 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I am. Did." Jack tripped him up! He blinked, shook his head, got back on track. "I will. Guess what I was getting at is, I know where I've been straying, so I have to work on fixing it, and make sure I'm ready to deal with the others. I'll admit it, there's one I've been... kind of putting off." Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 23:01:57 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "No, if you're working on fixing something before you deal with the others, you're putting it off. Go talk to them in the morning." Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 23:11:32 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top The morning was entirely too soon! Especially since he couldn't just snap his fingers and have all the troubles be gone! He wasn't even sure he wanted some of those things to work out. But what could he tell the Director? No? "...Okay. Sorry, sir." Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 23:12:41 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Good." Jack pats his hands, like he's dusting them off. "And so, my good deed of the day is done. Have a good night, Aaron." Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 23:16:24 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Um, you too." So he really had just... randomly decided to walk up to Aaron and chat? Since apparently he kept tabs, and disapproved of how much Aaron trained. "Hope I didn't disturb you with my training, sir. I promise I really do other things with my time." Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Jack Makaila Moderator Director of Terror [color=limegreen]I'm your daddy.[/color] [send pm] Joined: March 2011 Posts: 21,586 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 23:18:31 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "You better." Jack points at him, before beginning to walk away. "You damn well better." Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Pensive (Jack) « Feb 7, 2016 23:23:14 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Okay..." What a strange thing to say. It was Jack who'd told him 'keep practising,' so this was at least partly the Director's fault! Admittedly, most of the 'other things' Aaron did in his day were things he really wasn't in the mood for right now, but still. He stood there, blinking, and wouldn't stop Jack from leaving. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Reply Share Thread Facebook Twitter Tumblr LinkedIn MySpace Email Go to Previous Thread Next Thread Please make a selection first