Author Topic: Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak) (Read 364 times)
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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 12, 2020 20:29:05 GMT -6 »
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"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN. WELCOME!!" The crowd roars.

Welcome to Whiskey Pete's, a space truck stop, bar, and entertainment center. In this particular area, the crowd is gathered on some rickety stands. Even more fragile are some of the vehicles that are currently outlining the arena in a circle.

"You are about to witness that 4,938,205,397th Annual Wheelin' and Dealin' Demolition Ship Derby!"

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 12, 2020 21:25:28 GMT -6 »
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Arright, you sons 'a squids,

A voice will appear in the other drivers' minds.

Ah hope you brought yer big boy britches, cuz yer about to be shittin' in 'em.

Taak revs up his custom-built Death Dervish and makes sure his mental chuckles are loud enough for everyone to hear them.

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 12, 2020 21:44:30 GMT -6 »
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Taak hears various curses, growls, and shit talk back to him as he sees half a dozen other vehicles. All of which appear to be in a better condition than the Death Dervish. As soon as the horn goes, one vehicle looks to turn and T bone him from the right at full speed!

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 12, 2020 22:10:46 GMT -6 »
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Aw SHIT, Taak thinks to himself, before arms reach out in nearly every direction at once. The Dervish quickly whips end-over-end, with a precise amount of thrust just as the nose points down to boost it to a lower vantage, relative to the would be T Boner.

He'll continue the spin until he's facing up and then thrust upwards, while simultaneously activating the spinning blades that line his murder machine!

The blades shudder as they start moving and one or two fall off here and there. Dag, nabit.

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 12, 2020 22:29:34 GMT -6 »
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There's a mental gargle on the other end as he saws into the ship! He doesn't completely destroy it, but it does start flying in accidental zig zags away from him!

There's a loud truck horn and the largest vehicle, which looks like an old Space Bus, drives straight at him, ram lining the front of the vehicle!

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 12, 2020 23:11:41 GMT -6 »
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Thanks fer announcin' yer presence, dipshit!

The Dervish is jerked off-kilter from the impact against the first ship and Taak readjusts, twirling the deathtrap around until it was facing the same direction as the space bus. Taak tilts his head to check the rear-view monitor, judging the precise time to flare up the thrusters just moments before impact.

As he does this, he tilts the ship up, looking to turn the ram into a glancing blow against the viewport while simultaneously flooding that viewport with bright exhaust as it barrels towards the stands!

Hey pal, ya know yer s'pose ta hit them ol' space ships and not them poor payin' customers, right?

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 13, 2020 19:25:40 GMT -6 »
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I, uh, did it on purpose! Dipshit!

The brilliant comeback is cut short as Taak's plan goes off without a hitch! The sparks and fire, which doesn't cause all that much damage, but it does blind the ship as it starts driving towards the stands!

In the meantime the Dervish gets clipped in the rear by a smaller ship with a drill on the front, damaging one of the back thrusters!

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 13, 2020 21:29:26 GMT -6 »
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Who you callin' a dipshit, dip-SHIT!

Taak tries to go into evasive maneuvers, but finds it difficult to do much with a drill stuck into his ass. He curses to himself, and, with one hand, hits the switch to open the cockpit. The space-plexiglass opens, and another arm grips a laser pistol, pointing it out the back and opening fire blindly towards their cockpit.

As he does, he burns on the ignition, twisting the Dervish in the direction of the damaged thrust to try and whip the ship around in a 180.

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 13, 2020 21:39:50 GMT -6 »
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His plan works, blasting the cockpit of the smaller vehicle, which cant take much of a hit! He hits the guy, who then backs his ship away, leaving Taak alone for now even as he flips a 180!

In the meantime the bus crashes into the stand, blowing up and probably killing a few spectators.

The rest of the crowd Cheers!

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 13, 2020 22:08:59 GMT -6 »
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Taak cheers too. Yee-haw!

He sputters towards the far corner of the arena, surveying the scene to take stock of how many other ships are still in play.

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 13, 2020 22:20:38 GMT -6 »
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The T-boner that got away earlier now looks to be a floating pile of scrap!

The bus is down along with part of the crowd!

Little driller is still zig zagging around!

There's another pile of scrap from another vehicle!

The last vehicle besides the Dervish still running looks like a large ball of a mace, giant metal sphere covered in spikes, and its flying straight at Taak!

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 13, 2020 23:57:16 GMT -6 »
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Taak guns his thrusters as hard as they'll go, cranking up the buzzsaw to maximum spin. He'll play chicken with Mace until the absolute last second, pulling up and looking to use the saw to yank some of those spikes off Mace's chassis on his way past.

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 14, 2020 20:15:44 GMT -6 »
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He saws off a few, causing the mace to rotate in place! It tries a new tactic and shoots two of its spikes for him!

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 14, 2020 21:44:13 GMT -6 »
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Well if he knew they could do THAT...

He whips the Dervish into a barrel roll mixed with an Immelman turn, trying to keep the spikes from having too easy a target as he turns the Dervish around to face Mace for first place.

Taak guns the thrusters again, timing his approach with the rotation of the ball to impact where he'd torn off the spikes earlier. As he gets close, Taak whips the ship around on its horizontal access, similar to spinning a car into reverse, and blasts his thrusters into a reverse ram, using the heavy spikes on the rear of the Dervish to hook around the spike nubs on the mace ship.

If this is successful, Taak will pop the cockpit again, extending up to his full height to get a visual over the other ship as he barrels backwards.

Dipshit, corner pocket, he taunts, looking to disengage at the right angle and location to release the mace and send it flying into the last remaining driller ship!

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 14, 2020 21:50:36 GMT -6 »
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Sticks, I'll kill you!

The mace gets whipped into the little drill, blowing it to pieces! The drill did manage to cause some slight damage to the mace, however, leaving a small pocket of exposed circuitry!

The mace begins to rotate, obliterating the pieces of ships in its way as it heads for the Dervish again!

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 14, 2020 21:56:55 GMT -6 »
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Gunna have to catch me first, ya fart-licker!

Already in a position to jet away, Taak goes for evasive maneuvers, zipping around the larger pieces of debris and going towards the space bus wreckage.

If he gets there without being spotted by Mace, he'll power down and wait for the bigger ship's approach.

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 14, 2020 22:14:25 GMT -6 »
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It gives chase, but what it lacks in speed it has in raw power. It destroys all in its path, but does seem to lose sight of the Dervish as it goes a different direction before circling back in search for the octopus!

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 14, 2020 22:23:21 GMT -6 »
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Taak checks his monitors and gauges, recognizing just how beat-up the Dervish really is at this point. He lets out a low mental whistle to nobody in particular and starts to formulate a really stupid plan.

Setting his thrusters on a low push, he edges the Dervish out towards open space once again. Only this time, Taak has left the cockpit entirely, creeping on the wreckage of the bus, his camouflage activating to mask his presence. If the Mace takes the bait, he'll wait until he gets an opening, and then launch himself towards the exposed circuitry, gripping the sides of the rent space and looking to squeeze himself right on through the hole!

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 14, 2020 22:34:40 GMT -6 »
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The mace takes the bait, ramming the ever living crap out of the ship! The Dervish is totally frakked at this point, but Taak is able to squeeze through the hole!

"Yeah! Take that Sticks! You no-good-fart-legged-tickle-dick!"

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 14, 2020 22:41:08 GMT -6 »
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Uh... hey there bud, the driver will hear in his mind, the link that establishes during telepathy giving him a sense that the source is actually much closer than the driver may have expected.

Ah think ya dropped this.

An arm would snake around the driver's side, depositing an armed grenade with just five seconds left before detonation. Even as the arm is dropping the 'nade, all of the others reach out towards the hole again, pushing himself back into the wreckage of bus and stands to watch the last of the fireworks from a safe distance.

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 14, 2020 22:48:34 GMT -6 »
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"W-what!?" He looks around frantically, hitting a few buttons that cause the ship to go out of control. He finds the grenade with just a seconds notice, holding it up with both hands.

"Taak! You CLOFF-PRUNKER...!"

The ship explodes from the inside out, leaving Taak to admire his work, albeit without a ship.

"AND THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS! EVERYONE IS DEAD!" The crowd goes wild.

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 14, 2020 22:53:16 GMT -6 »
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Now hang on one Squidforsaken minnit! Taak projects his voice out, trying to find the announcer to get his attention. He tries to reroute some power from the bus's life support to the engines, just to get enough thrust to jut the whole thing back into the center of the arena.

If successful, he'll be standing on top of the bus, shaking anywhere from 3 to 5 curled arms at everyone for not recognizing his glory.

Ah was told there'd be a cash prize?!

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 14, 2020 23:05:42 GMT -6 »
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"Do our optic organs deceive us!? No! Taak-o-yaaki lives! Taak-o-yaaki lives!!" The crowd goes silent. Then wild again!

"Hey, what are you do-ugh..." The original driver of the bus passes out as Taak busjacks him.

"Taak-o-Yaaki! You can collect your price at Whiskey Pete's Whiskey Water Hole!"

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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 14, 2020 23:21:30 GMT -6 via Tapatalk »
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Four of Taak's arms meet each other to form two pairs clasped at the ends, as he shakes each pair in self-congratulation!

He pays little heed to the bus driver as he lets momentum take him into Whiskey Pete's Proper to collect his earnings.

Also, er, any a' y'all thinkin' ya might wanna help a poor helpless Eitarmian catch hisself a ride to the Etruvian System?

A beat.

They gots some turbo-snuff that'll twist your inksack inside out an' show it to ya gramma and Ah aim to jus' go ahead and drown in 'em sumbitches fer a spell!


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 Whiskey Pete's Wheelin and Dealin (Taak)
« May 14, 2020 23:26:37 GMT -6 »
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After Taak's request, he finds that the crowd goes quiet. No volunteers! He can float to the bar!

/end!

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