« Prev 1 2 3 Next » Reply Share Thread Facebook Twitter Tumblr LinkedIn MySpace Email Go to Previous Thread Next Thread Please make a selection first Author Topic: Told you so. (Aaron/Open) (Read 1,176 times) Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Mar 23, 2016 19:42:19 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "You've had plenty of chances, Aaron. You don't bother to get to know people as people. You don't try. So why should I bother?" Leif stopped where she was and tried to look over her shoulder at him. If he paid enough attention, he might actually catch the glimpse of sadness in her gaze. "I tried to be for you what Neil was for me. But maybe there's just no saving you. So go ahead. Do whatever you want. Get yourself killed. I can't help you anymore. It's not like we're friends, anyways." He had proven THAT much to her. Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Nicky-Lee Young Hero Paradigm Black Ops [color=darkgreen]WOOP WOOP! Pull over dat ass too fat![/color] [send pm] Joined: August 2012 Posts: 6,394 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Mar 23, 2016 22:24:36 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Hm." Again. This whole situation is very...strange. Back to Top   It has begun. Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Mar 30, 2016 16:09:53 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top That cuts pretty damn deep, and it's obvious on Aaron's face as he looks her in the eye. He notices the sadness in her expression, and it's in his own, too. At first, he just sort of looks at her, taking in what she has to say, part listening, part hurting, part focussing through the morphine haze in his mind. The darkness continues to move a little, as if he's still wanting to find a way to get over to her, but he keeps it from getting out of hand with all the swirling about, so as not to be a disruption. "I have been trying," he says, finally. "Remember, you told me to prove to you that I wanted to know you, first? I've been looking for a way to. I don't mean this to be all weird, but I like you, and I really do want to be your friend. I'm truly sorry if I've made you feel like I don't. And I'm sorry for getting all mad at you just now, too - I could blame the pain, or the drugs, but I know you mean well, you're a good person, and I shouldn't be getting angry at things, whatever the reason. There's no magic words anybody can say to make everything go away, get everything back to where it should be, but you've helped me get back on the path at least, and don't think I don't appreciate you trying, because I do." And besides, she's probably right that she's the only one who cares enough to bring any of this up. It's not like anyone else but Agents Young and Tiao had come by, but then, that could just be nobody having heard - and if so, he sort of prefers it that way. No need for everyone else to see him like this. But then, who's he to want to be anyone's friend? He's just the millstone around everyone's neck, the loser, the "selfish asshole," the fuckup, the one dragging everyone else down. The one not worth her helping, the one with nothing worthwhile to offer anyone. The one who'd hurt her, and everyone else who'd come into his life who he'd started to care about one way or another. And now it'll be absolutely impossible to get away from reminders of that fact, for even one moment. "I promise, I'll keep trying to be better." Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 2, 2016 9:59:14 GMT -6 via mobile » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Leif gave a single shake of her head, then tossed him the peeled apple over her shoulder. She sighed softly, rubbing her forehead. "They got you doped up pretty heavy. You probably want to eat something. Apples have a lot of natural sugars and will help you feel better." Giving a salute to the blonde woman, Leif turned to head out. Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Nicky-Lee Young Hero Paradigm Black Ops [color=darkgreen]WOOP WOOP! Pull over dat ass too fat![/color] [send pm] Joined: August 2012 Posts: 6,394 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 2, 2016 10:41:18 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Nicky returns the salute with a nod of her head, waiting until Leaf was gone to look at Aaron. "Sounds like you got a lot on your plate." Ahhh teen drama. The good old days. Back to Top   It has begun. Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 2, 2016 10:48:13 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Aaron almost lets the apple hit him square in the face, but just before it can his left hand drifts up lazily and snatches it from the air. The darkness stops moving around as he glances at the apple, then back to her, trying to shoot a smile her way. "Thanks, really. I'll talk to you after they let me out or something. Just, uh, don't tell anyone, if I can ask? Please? I don't want people knowing until I'm ready, until I've, you know... thought about things. Sorry, I know it's a lot to ask." Whatever Leif says to that, Aaron lets her leave, and when Agent Young speaks, he looks over to her, thinking about what she says. "Yeah, I really do." « Last Edit: Apr 2, 2016 11:15:22 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Nicky-Lee Young Hero Paradigm Black Ops [color=darkgreen]WOOP WOOP! Pull over dat ass too fat![/color] [send pm] Joined: August 2012 Posts: 6,394 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 2, 2016 10:59:26 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top She sits at the end of the bed. "You're not obligated to talk to me, but between your injury and people being pissed at you left and right, I figure you should probably reach out a bit." Just a suggestion. Back to Top   It has begun. Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 2, 2016 11:09:44 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Aaron looks surprised that she's even offering! He really has to think about it, and not because it's her bringing it up. She's right, but hadn't he been saying not all that long ago how he was done bothering other people with his stupid problems and worthless life? He's not worth knowing things about. ...But she has a point, and also, just having someone offering to listen right now is distracting from the pain, and he can feel it all building up inside him. Even while he's busy feeling guilty about even wanting to talk to her about things. He doesn't leave her hanging for long, at least. "Where would you want me to start?" Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Nicky-Lee Young Hero Paradigm Black Ops [color=darkgreen]WOOP WOOP! Pull over dat ass too fat![/color] [send pm] Joined: August 2012 Posts: 6,394 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 2, 2016 11:16:39 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Wherever. Just say whatever you need to." she shrugs. Back to Top   It has begun. Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 2, 2016 11:34:40 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Hm." Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Hrm. Hm. Hrmmm hmm. This is a heavy topic, and probably not one that's good to try to go into while really high on morphine. But he's trying, and he's very visibly thinking about it. Even aside from his earlier surprise that Agent Young - who has a reputation for being rather chilly, no pun intended - is offering to listen to what he has to say and be there to reach out to, it's just something he has to think a lot about. "I've turned into a worthless piece of shit as both a person and an agent, and I really don't know what to do about it, how to get better, how to fix any of it. I'm sorry, you said cut out the self-deprecating stuff and here I am throwing it at you again, but you said to start somewhere." Is the dull, slightly defeated look in his eyes due to the drugs, or his own mood? Hard to tell. "Everything was going so well, then boom, my whole life falls apart before I know it. I joined Paradigm to help people and make the world a better place, not for glory or fame or any of that dumb bullshit, whatever Leif thinks, but lately it feels like all I do is ruin everything, get in everyone's way. Like out there." Like the only way he could make the world a better place is not being in it, but he doesn't say that. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Nicky-Lee Young Hero Paradigm Black Ops [color=darkgreen]WOOP WOOP! Pull over dat ass too fat![/color] [send pm] Joined: August 2012 Posts: 6,394 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 2, 2016 12:04:24 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Well we'll stay away from the mission with me since that's not typically what you'll see." Nicky says, leaning back on her hands. "You notice any patterns when it comes to 'getting in the way'? In my experience there's a certain attitude or action in common." But it could very well just be bad luck every time. Back to Top   It has begun. Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 2, 2016 12:18:38 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "My powers don't do anything any more. They're useless. I can't defend anyone, I can't fight, I can't get out of the way. They're just... I might as well not have them for all the good they do lately. It feels like I'm actually getting weaker, somehow, for all the training I've been doing." Did that count as a pattern? He's not totally sure. Patterns. He tries to think on that, picking the apple back up and looking at it as if it might answer him somehow. Patterns... "That's not really what you're asking for, is it? Patterns, hrm. Remember one of the things I said to you about wanting to learn from you? Maybe, maybe a little, I've been out here looking to prove to people I'm actually worth half a damn, that I'm not the useless liability they all want to see me as. I'm still not interested in winning medals or anything, and I haven't been just charging in like a jerk, but it's been colouring my thinking out here even when I don't want it to." Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Nicky-Lee Young Hero Paradigm Black Ops [color=darkgreen]WOOP WOOP! Pull over dat ass too fat![/color] [send pm] Joined: August 2012 Posts: 6,394 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 2, 2016 18:27:53 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Sounds like those two things are your problem." Nicky says. "If you keep thinking you're worthless and weak, you're going to be worthless and weak. You probably aren't actually weak, but your mind and powers are more connected than you probably know. So your power's probs all like fuck yeah I'm weak. What do you want?" She's got a sentient power in her, so that example's more real for her than Aaron, probably. "And going out there with proving yourself in the brain is hurting you too. Because that's the shit that makes you try TOO hard and that don't work for no one, either. Tried and tested, kid. Spent a whole fight just wanting to punch this guy in the face and I fuuuucked up. I was always real crafty and tricky but that whole thing threw me off my game. Probably throwing you off yours too, and it's making failing feel that much worse." She shakes her head. "Nah, you gotta stop with that." Back to Top   It has begun. Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 4, 2016 2:36:08 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Well, isn't that an interesting thought? He remembers theorising about something similar before he asked her to train him, pondering on if his depression of late and all the stuff weighing on him was actively weakening his powers. Though, how the hell is he not supposed to think he's worthless with his current track record? When he'd finally started thinking he was worth something, that he could stay out of his shell and not doubt himself constantly and second-guess every little move he made... well, all this happened. Being confident ruined his life. He's unsure whether to ask, though, lest he come off as arguing with her, even though she invited him to reach out and talk about things, and instead takes a moment to digest what she has to say. "I was trying to." Was. But every time he starts climbing out of the downward spiral he's been trapped in, someone or something smacks him right back down into it. Maybe the world wants him to stay down, and is trying to give him a hint. "It's just, you ever have someone who, more than anything, you just want them to see you're worth something? You just want to matter to them again? You want them to fucking believe you when you say you care about them? To stop assuming you're such an awful piece of crap and give you just one goddamn chance to make things right?" ...Whoops. He slipped into vent mode without meaning to. He falls quiet, takes a bite from Leif's apple, chews, swallows, looks contrite when he's done. "Sorry. That got away from me. Probably the drugs. I used to be better than this. I don't just mean my powers were stronger, though they were; I mean I used to be better. I used to actually be a good person, someone people wanted to be around, someone worth caring about. Someone who could actually help people and had something to offer them. I don't know how that stopped being a thing, all I know is I want to get back there." Not that he knew how, or how to get the people he wanted to care about him to even give him a chance. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Nicky-Lee Young Hero Paradigm Black Ops [color=darkgreen]WOOP WOOP! Pull over dat ass too fat![/color] [send pm] Joined: August 2012 Posts: 6,394 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 4, 2016 7:26:07 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Sam. Sam. Samsamsamsamsam. That's what goes through her head as he asks his question. Of course he was brainwashed and coocoo, and then she fell for someone else too. Soooo, probably different there as well. "Used to." she says, placing emphasis on his own wording. "I guess the simple thought-provoking question here is: would YOU want to be around you right now? If no, then deep down you probably already know what to change." « Last Edit: Apr 4, 2016 7:26:27 GMT -6 by Nicky-Lee Young » Back to Top   It has begun. Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 4, 2016 8:54:37 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top They probably both know the answer to her question, given he's referred to himself as worthless and useless right in front of her. His expression should be answer enough, and before he replies he takes another large bite out of the apple. Mm, that's actually hitting the spot pretty well, and as mad as she was at him, it was still a really nice gesture from Leif. "It's not that I don't know most of what's gone wrong. It's that I don't know how to make it right again, how to get back to what I used to be. Or how to get people to give me a chance to. And me trying to do better, trying to learn and improve and show I'm worth half a damn? Made me end up like this." Besides, even without that, is there a point? Everyone's so eager to write him off, to make their assumptions about him, to twist everything however they can so they can look at him like he's some monster. Is there a point? Where had his determination gotten him, after all? "Maybe it's selfish feeling how I do about all this at all, though. There's people who've been through so much worse, someone who means the world to me has been through so much crap in her life it makes all my stupid little problems look like nothing, and yet she still tries to do the right thing; she's lived a life that would have driven me insane, or made me an evil son of a bitch like Chazz or Clavish, but she's become an amazing person. Giving up, letting myself break? It'd be spitting right in her face, in everyone's faces. I don't know what to do, except that I can't - won't - quit." Even if that means smacking his head against the wall until he bleeds. He doesn't believe in quick fixes, he believes in taking a problem and working on it until it stops being a problem. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Nicky-Lee Young Hero Paradigm Black Ops [color=darkgreen]WOOP WOOP! Pull over dat ass too fat![/color] [send pm] Joined: August 2012 Posts: 6,394 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 4, 2016 9:26:13 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Waaah. Everyone has problems." Nicky says, rolling her eyes behind her glasses. "Shut up about everyone else. Shut up about needing to change because that's what everyone else deserves from you. Do you WANT to change? Don't do it because you don't want to get in my way, or because this other person became awesome and you wanna do that too, or because some angry chick came in here and bitched you out. You wanna change? Then do it for you. Dunno how? You can start by trying to find happiness in yourself before you try to make other mother fuckers happy. If you need to make amends, make 'em. But you don't fucking need to prove anything. Got me? You don't NEED to. You want to. And when you want to, you will. When you need to? You force it and you fuck up." Back to Top   It has begun. Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 4, 2016 10:07:01 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "That's what I'm saying, that I want to change and be better again, like I once was. Well, what I mean to say, anyway. Maybe it's not what I'm sounding like." Obviously it wasn't since she went into full on rant mode, but he'd heard worse, and it's well-intentioned. Aaron's just a guy who sometimes responds better to a bit of tough love. Though doing something just for himself, that's not really... him. As determined as some people are to think otherwise. "That includes making amends, yeah. The people I most want to make amends with, though, I've got no idea how to get the door open, so to speak." Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Nicky-Lee Young Hero Paradigm Black Ops [color=darkgreen]WOOP WOOP! Pull over dat ass too fat![/color] [send pm] Joined: August 2012 Posts: 6,394 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 5, 2016 22:06:34 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Kid you're not even listening to me. You can't fix shit unless you fix you. And I told you how. Stop explaining yourself as if there's supposed to be something else. You might not realize it, but you're dicking around the issue." Back to Top   It has begun. Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 5, 2016 22:35:47 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I am?" "Dicking around the issue" is a new one to him. He frowns, thinking on that. Maybe he really hadn't realised it. "Sorry. Too used to trying to give my side I guess. I hear what you're telling me." Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Nicky-Lee Young Hero Paradigm Black Ops [color=darkgreen]WOOP WOOP! Pull over dat ass too fat![/color] [send pm] Joined: August 2012 Posts: 6,394 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 5, 2016 22:39:22 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Yeah? So what am I telling you then?" Back to Top   It has begun. Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 5, 2016 22:54:12 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "To fix myself before I worry about fixing things with others, to find my own happiness. To stop thinking I have to constantly prove myself to everyone and that I'm such a useless failure, because that's actually making me weaker." However, that's all much easier said than done. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Nicky-Lee Young Hero Paradigm Black Ops [color=darkgreen]WOOP WOOP! Pull over dat ass too fat![/color] [send pm] Joined: August 2012 Posts: 6,394 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 6, 2016 9:29:51 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "So what you gonna do?" Back to Top   It has begun. Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Told you so. (Aaron/Open) « Apr 6, 2016 9:49:59 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Try to do that. Unless you wanted specifics." Not that there's a "himself" worth fixing, but still. « Last Edit: Apr 6, 2016 9:52:01 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Reply Share Thread Facebook Twitter Tumblr LinkedIn MySpace Email Go to Previous Thread Next Thread Please make a selection first