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She glares at Nicky! Grow up? Rude! She wasn't exactly a naive kid anymore. Jeez.
Yay talking to teenagers about maturity.
"Well, thank you for your time, Nicky," she says in a very flat tone. "Thanks for your help." She'd figure something out. Like how to deal with a will fueled by that much hate and indignation.
The sentiment is rewarded with a weak smile as she opens her eyes and looks at him. This is why he's her best friend, even if she's more likely to believe the words that came from Nicky's mouth at the moment.
"Thanks, Eric." She wouldn't let it cow her, though. One way or another, she would gain control of her power. She couldn't afford to let it run rampant anymore, but she also didn't want to make it feel like it was forced to be a prisoner, either. Seeing Nicky's power manifest itself had helped to solidify that the power she had killed, however it had happened, was still sentient. Still its own being.
She lets out a quiet laugh at the question, massaging her temples with her fingers.
"I guess. I don't know what there is to talk about." She removes her hands with a shrug. "I mean, this is still kinda new to me, you know?" She bites the inside of her lip, debating of just how much of her thoughts she wanted to share. She knew they'd be safe with Eric, but it wasn't something shared often with anyone. If people knew here, it was because it was on her file.
"I mean, if this is really what's going on, then it's not been fighting just me all these years, you know? It probably blames me for the 'specialists,' too." She practically spits the word with their combined bitterness.
"But you're not the only one who had to deal with specialists and people not getting what you are. And yeah, I mean a what. I know I didn't have it as bad as you did and still do. I really do, I know my power is nothing like yours. But come on Becca, I love you but you kind of have a habit of getting so absorbed into your own shit that everyone else can be damned."
He frowned.
"I mean, you found out your power is sentient. Do you even think of it as such? Or is it just the thing that ruined your life?"
"And how many of yours tried to strip you of your power, Eric?" she snapped, on the defense. But his words still have an effect, she falls quiet as they sink in. Was she really that bad?
She closes her eyes again at his questions, remembering. Had he asked her this when they first met, her answer would have fully been that her power was a sick twist of fate that ruined so much of what she could do. But what if that was just what she was so used to hearing that she believed it and defeated herself before even looking to see what her options were?
"Both, I guess." She opens her eyes to look at him again, trying not to be rude, but sometimes it's easier to think when she doesn't have the distraction of another person in sight.
"I mean, yes, it's pretty much confirmed that it's sentient. It means I have to rethink everything I thought I know or understood about my power. But hating it is something I've done for a long time, too. So yeah, it's different. I don't think I hate it the way I used to so much as I hate how this is suddenly complicated." Her expressions lightens a little with the realization. Very little.
"But I knew it before Nicky showed up, too. I think I knew it back in the pod. I wasn't trying to bully it when I pointed out we had to share the same body until one of us gives up the ghost. It's a fact. But I wasn't bitter and I wasn't trying to push my will over it. It was just fact, like the fact that I have all ten toes. But I think I was okay with it, too, for a little bit. It would have been an answer. It could mean something good could come of this somehow."
"And again. I know I can't ever understand what growing up was like for you. But if you still kind of hate it for ruining your life, can you really blame it for hating you for ruining it's?
"All of it. That she doesn't think you will last long. That dominating it only goes so far, and that she was eventually sincere. I think that's where you got to get. You gotta get over yourself and how shitty you had it and remember, it was there with you for every shitty moment you had since you got it. Those shitty moments didn't belong to you. They belong to both of you."
He'd shrug.
"But what do I know? I was born with mine."
« Last Edit: Nov 23, 2015 18:20:37 GMT -6 by Eric Phillips »
He just keeps driving that point home. She doesn't say anything afterward, nor does she interrupt. Her lips press into a thin line as she thinks, but in the end, the only thing she can do is nod.
"I know." Back to the weak smile as she looks at him. She shifts her foot, ignoring the burning in the back of her calf muscle as she bends the footback so that she pokes his shoulder with it.