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She looks over at Piper, head tilted as she listens to her friend's heated assurance that misery wasn't waiting for her at the end of the day if things went south. The sentiment brought a smile to her lips, especially since any protests she might have had were waved away until the end.
"It's a nice thought." She had stared at the remark about her father, but now she chuckled, sitting up again.
"I don't think there's anything the director can do, though. Legally, my father is my guardian. He can't change that, and shouldn't." Her frown returns, deeper than before. "It's a personal problem. It doesn't concern the well-being or safety of Paradigm."
She catches on to the reference and chuckles, raising a brow at Sarah. "You think I'm going to be able to make it to Mexico without getting crispy?" Then, after a moment.
"So are you saying that, as a steel rose, I'm more than human?"
Sarah winked at her when she spoke of Mexico, but for some time, she stayed silent. She felt like there was something that could be done, even if her father decided to be a dick. But American law wasn't exactly her strong suite... Maybe she could talk to somebody, Jack or Mat, and see if anything COULD be done.
She also couldn't understand the idea of being connected to family. Her mother technically raised her, but it wasn't as if she gave the woman any credit for who she became.
Shaking her head clear of those thoughts, she focused on Rebecca's question. It was a good one, and it really made her think.
"On one hand, yes. It means you've transcended humanity... You're not trapped hear by the laws of nature. Growing out of concrete, remember?" She smiled softly. "On the other hand, no. You're still human. Because on that same hand, we're all human. Meta or not, we are HUMAN. And you taught me that. So yes. And no. I guess it's really up to you, isn't it?"
"I want a refund." Rebecca snorts, her smile more at the ready than before.
"It usually is, isn't it? That's part of what makes it my life and not someone else's." Right? Right. She's going with that. Besides, it was too complicated to try and explain her relationship with her father. Too fresh, too. She knew she couldn't please him and make her own life forever; their goals meant going down two different paths.
"This all probably sounds silly, doesn't it? It should be so simple, but thinking about it hurts my head." And her heart. She didn't want to disappoint her father, but even being here was that. It was his hope for a normal kid with a normal life. But what the heck was normal anymore?
"I've come to learn that nothing is silly," she said with a shake of her head. And truly, she believed it. She had seen so much, learned so much, and she felt like things were finally starting to make sense.
Silly or superfluous things didn't exist in the real world. Simple didn't, either.
"If your head hurts too bad, we can change the subject. We really don't have to talk about this."
"I'd like that. Too bad we don't have a book of poems around, huh?" She chuckles at the memory of distressing they tend to fall back on when together.
"Please don't tell anyone. It's really not that big a deal and will only cause drama. I'd rather not have to focus with him while I'm here if I can help it." But they were supposed to be on a new topic!
Sarah feigned zipping her lips and tossing away the key. "Like I said. What is said here, stays here."
Then, she turned her attention to the little cat. She even smiled. She reached out and stroked it with one finger, like she might a real cat. "Eric, actually. We didn't have the greatest first meeting and he decided to do his little magic trick thing to impress me. Lighten the mood."
She laughed. "Calicos are my favorite. Did you know they're actually genetically messed up? They're chimera."
"That sounds like Eric." She nods, recalling every girl she's seen him meet. There's always been a gift involved, but he's also an upbeat person in general.
"I think I've heard at some point. Something to do with the genes and their coats or something?"
She nodded, and that light of excitement touched her face again. "Male Calicos are EXTREMELY rare, and when born almost never live past the point of nursing. I found one, when I was a kid. I'd love to have another. No other cat can compare."
Sarah clasped her hands together, unable to seem to stop.
"Their genetic code? It is AMAZING. The coloring, unlike a tortishell or something, is a defect. But it makes them so pretty! That day I was shopping, I saw a cat I wanted SO badly... She was a true chimera. Half calico, already a chimera... and half torti. How AMAZING is that?"
Then, as an after thought, "I wonder if she's still there."
Rebecca's only seen this level of enthusiasm from her friend when she was stating WWII facts, so she lets Piper continue without interrupting, nodding towards the end. At least she'd been right enough to not look ignorant.
"That's really cool, Piper. Maybe we can go see once you're no longer grounded." Hopefully the cat had a home by then. Rebecca wasn't sure Piper could resist passing it up a second time if it was still there.
"Maybe so," she said with a satisfied smile, relaxing back onto the wall her bed rested against. It made her happy, and she thoroughly enjoyed talking about things like this with Becca.
"One day," Sarah agreed, before standing from her bed. "Want another cup? I'm assuming you're going to be up all night, so you might as well have one more."
Going into the kitchen, she made only one other cup of coffe. Becca was free to however much she wanted, but Sarah had a difficult enough time sleeping.
No argument there. She'll stop at two cups. Maybe.
"You said you've been in my position before." She eyes her friend carefully, thinking it ight be better to stop now while she's ahead. It's up to Piper, though.
"Still am, really," she said, bracing herself on the counter behind her. She offered her friend a genuine smile, but Sarah faded away at the thought of Jim. That innocence, that affection, seemed to have been lost.
She was back to her "usual" self.
"It's a long story. We've got enough coffee for me to tell it, but I don't really know if you want to hear it."
Rebecca shakes her head, noting the change but not sure how to bring it back. If it's the topic of conversation, then it can either go away or stay a while.
"There's a man that made me love him, and after a while, I didn't know how to live without him. He made all my decisions for me. Then he abandoned me, and after that abandonment, decided to try and make me do something awful."
The short version. The version that also didn't tell her that she almost betrayed her and Angel, as well as the entirety of Paradigm.
"It isn't the same thing. Yours is your father. I don't have a father. My mother was a neglectful woman, but she and I don't talk anymore. So it's different, but in a lot of ways, it's the same."
At least it was Piper, the cold and jaded, and not... puppet.
Similar in a sense, but definitely not the same. Rebecca nods with a small frown at the abridged version, still unaware of Piper's darker thoughts. Even without them, it sounded awful. It brought to mind what she'd said before about a man who had decided she was 'allowed' to go on a ride when she was younger. Perhaps it was the same one?
She's silent for a moment, looking at her friend with a careful eye as she notes the shift in tone as well as demeanor, her own expression softening.
"I'm sorry, Piper. No one should have to go through that."
She shrugged, swallowing back the bile that always rose when she thought of him. Once, he brought her joy, made her strive for some goal... and now, he just made her sick.
She shivered visibly. "It's really whatever. It'll be over soon. But that explains my name." She smiled, trying to lighten the subject.
"When I moved, I decided the girl I was had died. She had gone away. Sarah, she was dead. So I took the name Piper. Its pretty close to what he called me."
She makes a non-committal noise in the back of her throat at how it's "really whatever." It sounds way too close to what she'd just told Piper a few minutes ago. Yay emotional baggage.
"Well, I like Piper, but I think Sarah's still in there," she says after a moment as she studies her friend. "Whether or not you really believe it. But I think you can be Sarah, if you really want. She won't be the same; she's been gone a long time. But she can learn from your life as Piper.
"In the end, they both make up part of who you are, right?"