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The attack yesterday, and Jack's announcement a short time ago, had smothered the excitement and happiness out of Paradigm's campus, replacing it with a choking dread and anticipation that was almost a physical force clinging to every building and person. Not panic or despair so much, but the weight of inevitability and the terror and bloodshed to come trying to pin them all down like the fist of an angry god. Outside the walls, no doubt it was little better; there weren't riots in the streets or anything, that he knew of, but America going on a full war footing was going to catch up everyone in its grasp one way or another, meta or not, by his reckoning. His Facebook had all but exploded with news, people reacting to the cold war going hot, or wishing him well, or reporting how they were off to a recruiting office.
There'd been a common theme in all those posts, though, just as there'd been in every little conversation he caught walking Paradigm's halls: fear. Dread. The knowledge the world was once again a place where you either killed or were killed. Even the ones talking about how it was high time the Empire was given what-for seemed to feel it somewhere, deep down.
Jack'd told him to man up, to be confident, but Aaron would be a liar if he said he didn't feel it too. He'd tried to eat but nerves almost made him throw everything right back up, tried to exercise but couldn't get into it. All he could think of was the coming madness, how it was all going to get so much worse before it got any better, how many people would die and how little he could do about it. Would some of those be by his hand?
Would he have a choice? Worse, if he were forced into a "him or me" situation, would he find it too easy, like when he cut down those genos with hardly a second thought? How could he help anyone if he hadn't been able to stop that armoured warrior on his own? How could he avoid failing those he cared about, or dying himself?
He had so many people he needed to talk to, so many he needed to see before they all walked into the mouth of Hell, but fear, heavy in his gut had drawn him up to the roof to look over the battle-scarred courtyard which looked like how all the world might look before long with the Empire and all the free world's militaries unleashing their might on each other. To look at the destruction he'd been able to mitigate but not prevent entirely. Would that be how it was out there, too? All his training useless except to let him watch everyone get hurt or die?
A frigid February breeze sunk into his bones as a cloud of pure darkness started to form above the school, and spread, and condense into a massive, quickly-shrinking sphere. He started Jack's exercise as if it would do any good, and replayed the fight, and the past few months, and thought of the future and wondered if the world had one.
Well Aaron, you promised to put the good of humanity before yourself when you became a junior agent. It was coming up on time to put up or shut up.
« Last Edit: Feb 15, 2016 0:23:46 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman »
Fredegund was wandering the grounds, relaying the news to her birds. This might be goodbye. The birds are keenly aware of how dangerous it can get at Paradigm from time to time, so they sympathize if their human friend is leaving. What confuses them is leaving someplace that sometimes gets dangerous to a place that could be even more dangerous.
Fred sighs as she leans back on the bench with the crows surrounding her.
"I have to help people... Everywhere will become dangerous if the bad people aren't stopped."
Some crows look up at the cloud of darkness, while the rest don't see it as a big deal after seeing such a sight so often, between Aaron and other similar users expressing themselves in a similar way. Fred looks up at the cloud shrinking, wondering how things would be if she had a more action-oriented power.
At first, Aaron didn't notice the audience below, his eyes on the courtyard before him but his attention on the sphere shrinking further and further. His exercise and his own thoughts. Absently, he stood up and took a step closer to the edge, then another. Enough so he wasn't in any danger of falling but could possibly be seen from ground level.
He'd thought he was strong. But could he really say that any more? The ball shrunk further and further in his palm until it was a little smaller than a basketball then shuddered and shook until he hardened the outside edges to trap the rest of the darkness in, gritting his teeth. Damn, really? No smaller? No progress?
This was the worst time for that. Not now, not when war was breaking out for the fate of the world itself. With a long, frustrated sigh, he finally dispelled the sphere after a few more attempts.
...Which was when he spotted Fred looking up at him. Huh. How about that. He would give her a little wave, surprised to see someone just walking around out there.
« Last Edit: Feb 15, 2016 20:32:47 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman »
Aaron didn't really hear the chatter with the birds, but no hard feelings on having a gun pointed at him, not considering what those genos could do. It really should've been him that got shot, not her, and he still worried all this time later. Especially with that announcement that still rang in his ears.
So he jumped off the roof. After dropping through the air for a second, though, a platform of darkness would appear under his feet, and lower him safely to the ground. It was faster than the stairs, and once his feet touched earth he would take a couple steps and try to give Fred a smile.
Not that with the world about to be lit afire there was much to smile about.
That was the reaction he should've expected, but guilt still made him falter and frown a little. He'd scared away her bird friends, too!
"Sorry. You okay?"
He stopped where he was, hands in pockets. The tension was thick enough you could choke on it, inside the Academy. He'd needed some air, plain and simple, so no stairs for him.
Aaron worried about everything. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeveryyyyyyythiiiiiiiiiiiiing. It was where his hero complex came from, and a world war breaking out was not exactly the kind of circumstance that led to not worrying.
"Aaron, yeah."
Good to know he wasn't easy to forget, even in all the time he took to himself.
"Dunno what got into me, making an entrance like that."
"Don't worry about it; you were being controlled, you didn't have a choice. Better me being on the wrong end of that gun than you, you know? I'm just sorry you got hurt."
It still ate him up inside, that she'd been shot because of him.
"I can talk to animals, plants, ghosts, and objects I can hold in my hands. I can understand every language I hear, and speak it too. I'm getting the hang of reading things in other languages and deciphering codes."
"Sounds like you're perfect for intelligence work. With a bit of work, ciphers and foreign languages will be useless against you, and everything on the field can tell you what's going on, in or out of battle."
Right off the top of his head, she sounded very useful indeed!
"It's not all front-line fighting. We need people who can tell the fighters what's going on and where to go."
"I suppose... Do you think they would let me... Stay here to provide intelligence support? I thought I was ready for the field, but I'm having second thoughts."
"They should, or you might come along and stay off the battlefield, in a base behind the lines or something. You don't have to go into the front-line fighting if you don't want to, we've got people for that."
Second thoughts were perfectly understandable, and he tried to fight through all the doubt and heartache and honest fear to give her a comforting smile. Frankly, a little kid like her shouldn't be on the field, in his view.
"We'll all find where we can do the most good. And remember, you won't be alone - your fellow agents will be there, and so will entire armies, fighting the Empire. We're not going to be the only metas out there either, among the good guys. I'm sure of that."
"I mean, I'm defence, so I don't have a lot of exposure to that kind of thing."
Plus, on the ground level Paradigm's weirdly decentralised, and it had always bugged Aaron a little. Field leaders switched depending on the mission, and except for the staff members there was rarely a concrete authority. He wasn't even sure there was standard operating procedure for anything.
"In theory, the intel agents do all sorts of intelligence-gathering stuff, and in the field they do things like scouting, recon, and finding information on the enemy. But in practise, seems like a lot of the time the ones here just act like defence agents - I'd say find some intel guys with some experience and ask for more info."
But then, what did he know? The last time he tried to help Fred, she almost got killed.
Not directly, but he still looked thoughtful, like his mind was suddenly elsewhere.
On his wrist, she might have heard a dry snicker from his watch. When she replied, though, he visibly tried to force some cheer back onto his face. Why drag down her morale, after all?
Like he dragged down literally everything else.
"Yeah, you'll be fine. I promise. I'm going out there too, and I'm going to make sure as many of the good guys get to go home as possible."