« Prev 1 2 Next » Reply Share Thread Facebook Twitter Tumblr LinkedIn MySpace Email Go to Previous Thread Next Thread Please make a selection first Author Topic: I Am the Night (Becca) (Read 659 times) Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 20, 2016 0:09:11 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top He hadn't slept much since... well. Especially not with the war coming, how he'd soon be off to fight and risk himself for everyone else. Like he wanted, but not like he wanted. Not with much of anything worth coming home to except the promise of getting to do it more. Not with that time bubble that had thrown him into the thick of the battle with Rath's demons and made him watch and hear friends die but also not die which was still really weird. Not with that taste of power which has its claws in him still. Not with everything in his bedroom reminding him, one way or another, of Sarah. One night he'd gone in, taken some bedsheets and changes of clothes and valuables like his phone and computer, and just... left. All the important stuff was in his pod but he'd spent more nights since in an empty one, belonging to agents who already went off to fight the Empire. He'd been careful not to leave a mess, of course. If anyone in Pod 5 had noticed his disappearance, he hasn't heard from them, but he just couldn't stay in that room for now. He'd alternated between sleeping like the dead and tossing and turning fitfully, thinking of everything at once, ironically proving Sarah's own point that he had let the personal and professional get far too tangled up. That he had allowed her to become a distraction from why he's really here. But not just about her. There has to be an answer to what happened, and, equally important, a way to get that power he felt, without corrupting himself. There has to, in a multiverse with infinite possibilities. If he could find it, he wouldn't just have power, he would BE power. Finally, the sheer metahuman might to right all wrongs, protect everyone, prove to them all he's good enough. Be the world's bulwark against everything that would do evil. Even though that thinking was probably what led Rath's vessels astray and led to the very attack on the city he'd been caught in the middle of. But still, the temptation had kept him up mixed with everything else, tossing and turning and cursing to himself and wishing he had those pills again, in one corner of his mind. Finally, he'd gotten up and walked. Just... walked, letting the night fall around him like the warmest coat he'd ever worn. At first, aimlessly, without care for where he was going, but soon out of the pods, onto the grounds, past her tree, heading to the library, basketball-sized darkness sphere in hand by the time he started approaching the school. He'd asked Jack to show him how to get stronger with his powers. Maybe he should've asked how to make his heart stronger. Either way, right now it's just him and the night swirling around him, gently, insubstantial, unable to hurt anyone. Just giving him what little comfort it can, as he goes on his way. « Last Edit: Feb 20, 2016 0:10:22 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Rebecca Jefferson Legend Defense Will it be you this time? [send pm] Joined: October 2015 Gender: Posts: 4,354 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 20, 2016 0:20:01 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top A much less distraught Rebecca is in the library since she doesn't exactly sleep. It had been quite a while since she'd had a late night hangout; between her new boyfriend, injuries, missions, and avoiding a certain someone, she'd been busy. Though her thoughts aren't as heavy as Aaron's, they are distracting, and a forgotten order for a translation of a curse tablet lays in her lap. Supposedly, it was authentic.  But that couldn't distract her from the feeling of horror during the time travel thing.  The memories bothered her as she recalled how close she might have been to essentially killing Eric if if Noelle hadn't been around. All because she'd been trying to buy time to help him. Because of her, the past had nearly repeated itself, only to her boyfriend instead of just her best friend. But it hadn't, she hadn't, and that was the part she was stuck on. Curled up in one of the chairs, it was enough to divert her attention from anyone else just entering the library. « Last Edit: Feb 20, 2016 0:22:02 GMT -6 by Rebecca Jefferson » Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 20, 2016 1:22:37 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Eventually, the door would open, then close. Normal, but at this hour, even though Aaron tries to be quiet about it, easily noticeable. There'd be a slight pull on the shadows and darkness naturally occurring in the area, then it would just stop. That's enough of that exercise today. He'd stepped it up to twice a day, the routine being one of the few things keeping him going. Not seeing Becca, he walks on past the table, humming softly and sadly to himself, the tune carrying far into the distance as for a while he disappears among the shelves. He knows what he's here for. Mostly. When he resurfaces and approaches, he has a stack of books and files he thought looked relevant, since he's unsure the librarian is even around between the time of night and the war. Anything that looked, to his eye, like it involved magic or demons or Rath and his ilk or might have some kind of answers to the time travel and the power that bit into him. No fiction, of course. He hasn't been able to focus enough to just sit down and read a book anyway, since everything happened, so maybe it'll help. He takes a seat somewhere near Becca, near enough he actually noticed her but didn't recognise her and shifted out of the way before placing his collection down and picking out a volume. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Rebecca Jefferson Legend Defense Will it be you this time? [send pm] Joined: October 2015 Gender: Posts: 4,354 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 20, 2016 1:33:56 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top It's the humming that pulls Rebecca out of her thoughts, the unfamiliar sound breaking the silence. She looks up with a small frown, watching as a ghostly figure sweeps into one of the aisles. Not feeling the need to pester potential strangers or deal with people, she turns her attention back to teh book in her lap. She looks up again when she hears the sound of a chair scraping against the floor, blinking once when she sees it's Aaron. Normally, the books would entice her into asking questions, but it's Aaron. After listening to Eric tell his side of things in Director Mikaila's office as well as the fact that the shadow boy had broken up with her best friend, Rebecca is in even less of a mood to talk. She returns to reading. Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 20, 2016 1:49:58 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top The humming continues as he flips through one of the tomes, unaware of the brief scrutiny on him, though it gets slightly less sad and slightly more focussed after a bit. Then slightly irritated. She might catch a whisper in the night air, from him, but he's talking to his book. "Come on, I know you're in here somewhere..." There's a sort of desperate, agitated edge to it, like someone grabbing at a lifeline. Unconsciously, he's wrapped himself in shadows again, carefully, gently, until it looks almost like a coat, just his hands and face sticking out. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Rebecca Jefferson Legend Defense Will it be you this time? [send pm] Joined: October 2015 Gender: Posts: 4,354 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 20, 2016 2:49:07 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top The humming has become super irritating, especially as it continues. It's like someone's poking at her skull with something sharp, but with effort, Rebecca is able to refocus on her reading. His words catch her off guard, and it takes her a moment to realize that she's not the one he's speaking to. "Can you keep it down?" she snaps. "It's a library, not a choir shell." Sitting upright, Rebecca tucks the book under her arm and starts heading towards the shelves to find something else to occupy her time. Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 20, 2016 3:02:36 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Aaron has flipped through the index and was going through the "R" section when the voice cut through the night like a sword, snapping him out of everything. "What?" Not challenging, more bewildered, maybe mildly alarmed. He looks up, and eventually spots Becca, blinking at her. Ms. Data Unavailable. The snap out of nowhere hurts, he's vaguely tempted to snap back but... he's got nothing. It's a good point. "Becca? I'm sorry, I didn't realise anyone was in here so late." It had to be her, didn't it. What next, Angel's hiding behind a shelf waiting to jump out at him and tell him things he already knows about how worthless he is? He speaks before she stalks off for the shelves, his tone grave and genuinely apologetic! As if he'd shown disrespect at somebody's funeral, not talked in a library, to use a somewhat extreme metaphor. Though considering the company she keeps, apologies don't do anything. The second you show them you're not perfect, you're fucking nothing to them. That's the bitterness and heartache talking but he can't help but believe it right now. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Rebecca Jefferson Legend Defense Will it be you this time? [send pm] Joined: October 2015 Gender: Posts: 4,354 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 20, 2016 10:12:47 GMT -6 via Tapatalk » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Sure." Rebecca rolls her eyes despite the fact that Aaron can't see the expression. It's done when she turns ton face him a little. "A lot of people come here." She doesn't know his thoughts on her and, frankly, doesn't care. There was almost always someone here. At least he seemed genuine about his apology. She slips into an aisle between the shelves, trying smooth out her Ruffles feathers and assuming part of the irritation came from her spacing out. Knowing her luck lately, the books she's want to browse would be in use already. Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 20, 2016 10:32:21 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Not usually at this hour, though." He doesn't know why he bothers saying something, why he takes a few steps. She wouldn't care what he has to say, they've already told him how nasty and stupid and worthless and generally crap he is no doubt. How nothing he ever does is right and he's no good to anyone and never will be. She hates him, surely. Who wouldn't? He used to think maybe people didn't. That they had any reason not to, that he had anything to possibly contribute to anyone's lives other than money and superpowers and skills. That had been a good, short time. So why bother talking to someone who, no doubt, would rather shoot him right in the face than hear another stupid word from his stupid mouth? If she asked, he honestly wouldn't know. He doesn't want his head blown off, as far as he knows. Curiosity at seeing another night owl? Just the need to talk to someone? What the hell does he have to say to her, anyway? What would be worth hearing? Like anything he says ever is. « Last Edit: Feb 20, 2016 18:16:01 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Rebecca Jefferson Legend Defense Will it be you this time? [send pm] Joined: October 2015 Gender: Posts: 4,354 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 20, 2016 10:49:07 GMT -6 via Tapatalk » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Thankfully, Rebecca does not have the power to hear internal monologues. Why was he following her? It keeps her irritation present as the guy she's trying to get space from starts to follow her. "Sure they don't," says the girl who usually hangs out here at night. She snorts and keeps walking, looking at books on magic in general, especially if it has to do with Paradigm. Normal stuff for her. Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 20, 2016 10:57:17 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Not so much following as approaching a little so he wasn't having to raise his voice over the ever-increasing distance. Though with the quiet, they could probably stand on opposite ends of the library and hear each other perfectly via echo. If he were capable of a good mood right now, capable of merriment, he would say that actually sounds fun. Sounds like something he'd have suggested after a long night before... you know. "First time I've run into someone else out here this late," he says, not raising his voice, which ends up carrying anyway, the tone suggesting a weary shrug. He'd taken several of the more interesting-looking books in the magic-relevant-to-Paradigm section, thanks to his newfound interest, which she might or might not notice since she's probably more familiar with the contents than he is. He used to hang out in here often enough, but not at this hour and not in a while. He doesn't move, for now, hands in pockets, considering. What did he really hope to accomplish? What did he want?  Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Rebecca Jefferson Legend Defense Will it be you this time? [send pm] Joined: October 2015 Gender: Posts: 4,354 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 20, 2016 12:00:41 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Then I guess you don't come by very often." Thankfully, for more reasons than one. One of those reasons being she likes being alone. The agitation in her voice is gone, now flat and distracted as she frowns at the empty space on the shelves. She lets out a heavy sigh, aware of hte fact that she's being watched. "Is there something you need?" Not want. Need. Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 20, 2016 13:43:53 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Watched? Hardly. By the time she spoke, he's not even looking in her direction, and wasn't standing in the aisle to begin with, but since she's not looking in his either it'd be hard to tell that.  Need? He didn't even know what he wanted, let alone needed, aside from a way to make the pain go away. And maybe a second pair of eyes on all these magic books; he only knows a rough skeleton of what he's even looking at here or what he's looking for. Maybe some spell to retroactively wipe himself out, or stop the sudden decline into a shitty, worthless person who does nothing but get in proper people's way. What the hell had happened to him? How? He's silent for a long moment, unsure what the answer is or if he should even bother answering. Even if she thought he was worth the time of day, worth helping at all, what the hell could she do? "Help, maybe, but I don't know. It's not like I expected to run into you in here." His tone is flat too, and heavy. As if the soul's been crushed out of him and he can barely even muster any affront at her tone, simply exhausted by it and facing it with a resigned sadness; any hostility she could manage pales next to what he's been directing at himself. It's definitely further away from her, though, mostly because he's headed back to his seat. "I didn't expect a lot of things. I'm sorry." That one sounds like he's talking mostly to himself. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Rebecca Jefferson Legend Defense Will it be you this time? [send pm] Joined: October 2015 Gender: Posts: 4,354 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 20, 2016 13:50:46 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Well, here I am, so get over it." Rebecca scowls and turns away from the shelf, no longer interested and growing less relaxed with each passing second that Aaron emos all over the place. How the hell he's functioning, she has no idea, but he's going from irritating to annoying at a rapid rate. "Why would I help you, Silverman? With what?" Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 23, 2016 3:01:43 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Well, she was right. Why would she? Why would anyone? Since when was he worth helping, ever? Since when did he have problems? Besides, think whose side she'd be on. He dared have a problem with how he was treated, with how Eric acted towards people and how he'd been betrayed, so all he'd get from her was probably "jump off the roof". Still, he'd come this far, hadn't he? He takes a second, blinking at the venom in her voice, and collects himself, considers her answer, dispels the shadowy "coat" gathering around him. When he replies, maybe there's a hint of sadness in there, but he isn't all emo. Just calm, serious, mature. Genuinely sorry for all that's passed. "I'd owe you a hell of a lot, and I'm good on my debts. Just hear me out, consider it, and I'll pay you back; you could call that debt in whenever you want. We can talk about it another time if you'd rather, I get now's not the best, but they're sending me off to war soon. I didn't know when I might have a chance again." And he hadn't really known who to go to. Her or Angel. Even asking for help, that was a spur of the moment thing, driven by pain and maybe a little desperation and opportunity at just having happened to run into her here. Even though all he really knew about her was she's Sarah's friend. As for what he'd possibly ask her help on, well, he knew, but why go into it before he knew if she'd even agree to hear him? He wasn't staring her down, but she'd be able to see the seriousness in his eyes, that he meant every word. As composure went, a damn sight better than a minute ago, and without that infernal humming. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Rebecca Jefferson Legend Defense Will it be you this time? [send pm] Joined: October 2015 Gender: Posts: 4,354 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 23, 2016 8:53:24 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top She'd probably tell him lots of things, but Aaron doesn't like to listen. "Are you as good on repayment as you are following orders?" Rebecca raises a brow at him, her tone less acidic and more to the point, as if pointing out to someone that two plus two does not equal five. She's not sure why she hasn't told him to bugger off. Maybe it's the fact he's talking to her without all the self-depreciation, maybe it's the lack of shadow coat, but either way, she folds her arms over him with a now expectant expression. "I'm listening." Please don't be about asking her how to get back with her best friend. Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 23, 2016 9:16:08 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Aaron does listen, when people aren't telling him shit he already knows about how much of a worthless waste of space he is. Technically, he only ever disobeyed one order from Eric, anyhow. ...And of course he wants to get back with Sarah. He wants that more than anything. Even though, like she said, he needs to focus on stopping the Empire. Though that really takes two willing to make an effort, doesn't it? Not somebody who backstabs him then treats him like he doesn't exist the moment he makes a mistake. It also takes a world war not being on; she was right about that, he needed to protect people from the Empire first, sort out his heart after. "I messed up pretty badly," he says. "Jack, he put me on the spot with Sarah and Eric, and I just... I exploded. I don't even remember everything I said or how much I meant but I couldn't keep it in and once things were said I couldn't pull back and do damage control, even though I tried. I was hurting too badly, had too much pent up, and I tried to talk to them both privately but they wouldn't let me, neither would Jack, so I just started lashing out. I know it would take a while to fix everything, get things how they were - and I want to, more than I can say, but all this stuff with the Empire has to come first. Too many people need me out there for me to worry about repairing all of that right here and now. All I want is a little help opening the door, so that maybe, maybe there can be a chance to start to fix things when the dust settles. You're her best friend, I don't expect to snap my fingers and have everything be sunshine and rainbows again, but I thought I could at least ask that little. Just helping me earn a tiny chance to prove myself." Let's leave the elephant in the room, that it's entirely possible Aaron, Sarah, or both don't come back alive, unbothered. If the worst happened out there, he didn't want this being her last memories of him, or vice versa. ...Not vice versa. He would tear apart the sun before he allowed her to get killed out there. "And yes, I said I'd pay you back, so I'm going to; I know this is a big thing to ask, so I'd owe you big, too. I'm trying to get back on the right path anyway, back in touch with the kind of guy I should be." The kind of guy, he leaves unspoken but implied, Sarah fell for in the first place. Supposedly, given how quickly and how heartlessly she'd gone about the cheating. That second part wouldn't be in his tone of course; all that's in his voice is sincere regret and desire to change, to fix things and maybe return them to how they were one day, no matter how long that takes. Still, he didn't actually ask how to get her back. Just how to open the door a little so he could prove he was worth trying to fix things with, down the road. « Last Edit: Feb 23, 2016 9:44:24 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Rebecca Jefferson Legend Defense Will it be you this time? [send pm] Joined: October 2015 Gender: Posts: 4,354 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 23, 2016 10:34:01 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Rebecca takes it all in without budging or saying a word, body still slowly turning away from the bookshelf to face him instead of just looking at him after a moment of silence passes. Looks like he got at least part of it off his chest, anyway. "Jack as in Director Mikaila?" She blinks. Then she laughs, a tired sound, and shakes her head. "Dude, if you need the branch director to step in and force you to confront your relationship problems, then it was already past the point of 'waiting for the right moment.' "I'm going to tell you something you should look up, Aaron, and think about: The Devil, The Wheel of Fortune, and Death. In that order." Her expression grows serious, rather than irritated. It's terrifying how similar yet different the two of them are. "Focus on your own problems. Focus on you. If you're just trying to make things better with her without thinking about why you drifted apart, then you're running in circles. Maybe there was a mistake or miscommunication. Maybe the two of you're just not that good of a mesh and you don't want to admit it." Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 23, 2016 11:15:45 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Hold up, one second? So I can clarify something? I didn't go to him for that - he forced it to happen, while I literally begged him to let me talk to them on my own. I just mentioned them in passing, and boom. He thought I had 'personal problems' and wouldn't let me go fight until I 'fixed' them, I trusted him not to pull this crap when I said I was trying to talk to her. It really wasn't my idea, but I get why they wouldn't believe me." Not argumentative or angry or anything, he kept that level, serious tone, and there was a flash of appreciation in his eyes as she acknowledged what he was saying and gave a proper response. He'd expected her to tell him to eat a gun or something, on some level. Maybe that had been the pain talking, the gnawing emptiness where his heart had been until this all started. Still, there's a thing that needed to be said, so, calmly and politely, he'd tried to clarify it. "There was no 'waiting for the right moment' involved, Becca. I tried and tried and tried to get in touch with her, she told me the first step was fixing things with Angel and I did that, right before I found out she was cheating on me. I had to find that out from Eric, not her; you have no idea how much more that hurt. That night, I tell her things are worked out with Angel, ask her to come over to talk about things, she says she's on her way. She never shows up. A month goes by with her acting like I don't exist - not answering her phone, emails, me actually going up and knocking on her pod door, anything - and I had no idea what was going on until she told me, in there, that she'd been trying to focus on the Empire. She could have taken five seconds to pick up the phone and say 'I'm sorry, I screwed up, but can we talk about it another time, because I'm working on something important'. I would've totally understood. Instead, it just kept gnawing at me, worse and worse. I finally saw her and I was already thinking the worst; she was totally right, we needed to table that whole talk until after the war's done, but I was hurting so badly I was already primed to go off." And, of course, Eric being there made it all worse. He's not sure how much of what he said to Eric he actually means, but there's definitely stuff he did mean - the guy is creepy, smug, obnoxious, has the power of a god and does nothing with it but fuck around. And Aaron's tired of everything falling in that guy's lap. How is he supposed to match up with someone who can instantly pull the solution to every single problem out of thin air? How is there even a point in someone like him existing when Eric does? What goddamn good are his darkness powers next to control over the fucking multiverse? Finally though, he sighs, reins himself in, sounding about as tired as Becca. "I'm sorry. I wanted you to hear my side of things but I guess it ran away from me. I have been focussing on fixing myself, but how was I supposed to not care about that? To not want to fix it? And now I need to focus on getting myself back on track, and the war, on protecting everybody from the Empire. That's why I said, I'm not after an immediate fix, getting right back together like nothing happened. I just want help opening the door, earning a chance, because until she got angry with me about the wayward house she never, ever indicated to me there were any problems. Remember when she got home from Australia? I ran off and came back with those gifts for her? I still remember how happy they made her." He's already pulled out his phone and let a shadowy hand plug the signs she mentioned into Google while he kept his eyes on her, but curiosity, and maybe some regret at having just word-dumped all over her, slowed his hand, made his look shift to a pondering expression. He has a guess, just from what Sarah said, but... "If I can ask, though, I'm going to look up what you mentioned, but I'm curious. Devil, Wheel of Fortune, Death. What do you think they mean?" « Last Edit: Feb 23, 2016 11:23:42 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Rebecca Jefferson Legend Defense Will it be you this time? [send pm] Joined: October 2015 Gender: Posts: 4,354 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 23, 2016 11:33:42 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "He forced it to happen because you didn't speak to them, Aaron! How long has this been going on? A month? Two? The fact remains that whatever was wrong was enough for Director Mikaila to feel he needed to step in. I doubt it was for something minor." Rebecca rolls her eyes and frowns. Thankfully, Rebecca's lack of being able to hear internal monologue's also prevents Aaron from being slapped. "Then stop trying. Let it go - let her go. Even if only for a while to get yourself back in order, because frankly, I've seen better looking shit on the side of the road." It's almost like she might care, in a very backhanded fashion. Maybe. "Look, stuff happens. We were all worried about Sarah, but if she's still not talking to you, even when you try, then you need to accept that. Focus on something other than her and having her back in your life. Because right now, you're starting to sound like an addict needing a fix." And no comment on how she knows that. There's no hostility or mockery, just blunt truth. She doesn't have time or energy for anything else. Then she remembers how Sarah had approached her, twice, with hesitancy because she was afraid Rebecca would be upset that her friend had kissed Eric, who had only been her best friend the first time. Life could rush past and carry you along so quickly sometimes and you wouldn't know it. "No." She shakes her head, shifting her weight to her other foot. "Look it up first. You can tell me why you think I did." She wanted to see him work for it, first. Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 23, 2016 12:16:23 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "How was I supposed to feel when someone who means the world to me, who has told me she loves me, who seemed nothing but happy with me, suddenly turns around and treats me like I'm completely worthless for no reason I can figure out? Like I'm not even worth an 'I'm sorry'?" There was a brief hint of indignation, not directed at Becca but towards the situation in general, but he calmed down quickly, settling in his seat and taking in her words. A nod here, a noise of understanding or concentration there, a brief, bitter chuckle when she compared him first to roadkill and second to an addict. That one... that one more or less made sense. Let her go? After all that? Just... give up? The thought sends his guts slithering around inside him, steals the breath from him. It's not just want, it's need. But you can't really love someone who will refuse to treat you like you're even worth her time, even after betraying you so thoroughly, can you? If they got back together, right this second, how could he ever trust her again? He's already second guessing every interaction they've ever had, wondering if she ever saw him instead of just wishing he was Eric. "All right. I've already googled it; let me read up." He nodded to his phone, the shadowy hand setting it back on the table. See Eric, his power had non-violent uses. He just couldn't pull the fix to every problem in the world right out his ass. "And you're right. She was right too. I need to focus on putting myself back together, and on the fighting up ahead - let's be honest, she and I both go off to the battlefield in a few days, and I don't even know if I'll be alive next week." He doesn't want to die, he thinks, but while they're shooting straight with each other, it's worth noting. It's war now, not just stopping bank robberies and stuff, and people are going to die. It's too late for Aaron to change that. Even Eric can't make this all end without any bloodshed. "I guess that's part of why I wanted your help here. This is more serious than just relationship spats, now - yeah, like I said, I want her open to letting me prove myself, but now it's about what I leave behind if I don't make it, too. If I die out there, and I can't go acting like that isn't possible, I don't want this being how she remembers me, how you all remember me." But then, why was he trying to please someone who obviously never ever thought he was worth anything? Who had been playing some sick joke on him from the moment he saw a glimpse of her at-the-time-green hair, or looked into her eyes? Who, right now, was laughing with Eric about how much pain he's in? Why plan to come back when she probably wanted him not to? He frowns, contemplative, and flips through the google results as Becca's left to digest what he said, until it comes together in the order she mentioned. Tarot, huh? Interesting. "Hrm... so you've got temptation and desire, fortune which can go either way or a crossroads, and rebirth of some kind. Guess you're saying it's what I'm looking at moving forwards? Caught between what needs doing and what I want, and all that?" « Last Edit: Feb 23, 2016 12:56:06 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Rebecca Jefferson Legend Defense Will it be you this time? [send pm] Joined: October 2015 Gender: Posts: 4,354 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 23, 2016 13:13:07 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top This is an amped-up version of things she'd really rather not think about. "I'm not saying it wasn't a poor choice. I'm saying your insistent need to not stop and think is making it worse. You're so quick to make a defense, but all I'm hearing is excuses. It's not your fault Sarah cheated on you? Then either it was unexpected or you had problems for it to be an option. She seemed fine? Was she really? Maybe. Or maybe not. How well did you really know her then? What if things just changed?" Still not denying cheating on him was a bad thing, but there's a lot. "And now you're blaming her for disappearing. That you tried to contact her when several of us have been worried. Fine. But now you're blaming the director? For something you should have done on your own?" She shakes her head but leaves it at that. She knows when she's repeating herself. "You want to fix things with people? Do it with the ones you've insulted. If they don't want to, then you have to accept the fact that you're one person. You need at least two people for any sort of relationship." Her arms fall away as he looks up and tries to sort out the meaning of her words about the cards. At least he's trying. Her expression softens and she sighs. "Close. Specifically, you have something that's a vice - a fix or a need, something that you indulge or maybe want but shouldn't. It could be multiple things. That leads into the wheel. Anything can happen, good or bad. You're at a crossroads, or if you're passive, caught up in the wheel. "Death is change. Rebirth. Either you or your situation are going to have significant changes, one way or another, that come from this." « Last Edit: Feb 23, 2016 13:34:51 GMT -6 by Rebecca Jefferson » Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 23, 2016 13:28:20 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top He'd spent a month doing nothing but stopping and thinking. And working. And trying to get in touch, yes. But they'd just be going round in circles at that point. Stopping and thinking was something she'd found him in the middle of. Maybe he wanted to be angry at Sarah. Maybe he wanted to hate her and see her as someone who'd been playing him all along. Maybe he wanted to lash out. It would hurt less, he'd feel less empty. If Sarah had ever just bothered telling him why, maybe. But Becca moves on to explaining the cards as that thought crosses his mind, stopping the words from leaving his mouth. Even as he considers what she says, though, his mind is still on earlier. What the hell had he done for Sarah to hate him this much? To go completely 180 and treat him like he wasn't even human? What made Eric so goddamn perfect? Why shouldn't he just disappear? This would happen every time he opens up to somebody. The explanation and softer expression get another look of appreciation from him, though. "Guess it's not hard for me to figure out what's what, in those cards." Or maybe it had already happened. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Rebecca Jefferson Legend Defense Will it be you this time? [send pm] Joined: October 2015 Gender: Posts: 4,354 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 23, 2016 13:37:46 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I wouldn't know. I'm not you." Rebecca shrugs, not bliking as she looks at him. She doesn't know the rest of his past or problems. Hell, she doesn't know Aaron at all. Back to Top   Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 I Am the Night (Becca) « Feb 23, 2016 13:44:45 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Something Aaron's always wanted to amend but, until tonight, has never really had any idea how. "I know, guess I was saying that more to myself. It makes a lot of sense, with everything." Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... 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