« Prev 1 2 3 4 Next » Reply Share Thread Facebook Twitter Tumblr LinkedIn MySpace Email Go to Previous Thread Next Thread Please make a selection first Author Topic: Walkabout (Leif) (Read 944 times) Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 25, 2016 3:58:50 GMT -6 via mobile » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top She gave a thoughtful shrug, turning her attention to the swinging doors that hid the traditional kitchen. She seemed to have found interest in something as silence fell for a brief moment. "Do you ever... you know... regret it? This? Paradigm, your parents being who they are? I mean, I think a LOT of people have reason to wish things were different, but..." Her eyes flashed back to his face when she came to visit, the despair and defeat that showed through the morphine high. She remembered it vividly. Turning her focus back to the door, she shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant. "You seem like you've got reason. Real reason, now. So? Do you? Regret it, I mean." Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 25, 2016 4:44:20 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I'm not sure I want to talk about that." Seriously, Leif, thanks for throwing it in his face while he thought they were having a moment. It certainly wasn't how she meant it if he thought about it logically, but her words cut into him and the light went out of his eyes. There wasn't any anger or anything in there, but she might be able to see pain register, and he almost seemed to be staring into the distance for a moment. Regret, huh? There were a lot of things to regret. Like having such worthless powers. Like being worthless. Like... everything that's happened since the wayward house. When was the last time he was actually glad to wake up in the morning? Probably before that mission. Before he knew. "I could never regret being part of Paradigm, I love what we do," he half-mumbled, but just loud enough for her to hear. "I have thought about it before, though. Like, would Mom and Dad have been better off if I hadn't come around? They could've put all their strength into fighting the Empire, back in its early days, if they hadn't had to worry about me." And what had he to show for any of it? 17 years of being a useless burden. He took the tea and downed all that was left in his cup in one forceful gulp, set it down, closed his eyes, took a breath. After a long second, the tension in his muscles bled away, and he no longer seemed to be staring right through her when he opened his eyes again. "Sorry, I shouldn't bring down the mood with my carrying on." « Last Edit: Jun 25, 2016 4:45:04 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 25, 2016 4:48:18 GMT -6 via mobile » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top A brow cocked at his sudden outburst, but at least she turned her focus back to him once more. Sapphire eyes gleamed with a distant sort of curiosity. She understood being upset... That was a perfectly logical response to his situation. But she didn't think she had asked anything cruel. "Look, man, it's all good. It's just... I dunno. I'm wondering. I don't know how many people CAME to Paradigm and how many were SENT. I didn't mean for you to get all down on yourself... really." Leif tried to offer him a smile but it seemed dim, especially after her excitement in regards to national parks. Her head tilted to one side, supported by her hand, as she trailed an idle finger around the rim of her tea mug. Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 25, 2016 4:59:42 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "That's why I apologised. It's nothing you did." Look what you've done Aaron. She was so happy and excited before you opened your stupid useless mouth. Nothing she'd asked had been cruel, it had just pried open the wound, forced his mind onto topics he'd been desperately keeping it away from, and for a moment his composure had broken. At least he had the good face back on, the one that didn't show how much everything was hurting. "I don't know how it is for everybody, and I don't know if it would've been the same if I hadn't been a legacy kid, but I jumped at the opportunity to be a part of all this. Most people I know of don't really get sent here so much as invited, if that makes sense." Though Leif seemed more like she'd been sent, by the vibe he got. « Last Edit: Jun 25, 2016 5:04:47 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 25, 2016 5:05:44 GMT -6 via mobile » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top She stared at him for a moment, thinking about the look on his face, about how he reacted. She had already told him he didn't need to be so damn strong all the time... Getting back into that argument seemed like a hassle, like it wouldn't get either of them anywhere productive. Sighing, she forced herself to let it go, looking down into her half empty mug. Her finger continued it's slow draw along the rim. "If even the smallest thing were different, I'm sure very little would be the same. Butterfly Effect, I think it's called. String theory, if you believe in it, also supports it. But I guess it's just the ramblings of a new soldier, huh? Nothing we can do to change the past and all that. Just the future." So says one of the ones that went back in time to PREVENT people from totally wrecking the entire world they lived in. Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 25, 2016 5:16:19 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top And who had gotten into a heated argument with him in the Old West about whether or not to establish communication between cowboys and Apaches for risk of the same, a memory that actually got a little chuckle from Aaron. He also remembered that she'd called him a "whiny little bitch" last time he let the side down too much around her, but he didn't want to get back into all that. The smile, at least, was genuine, even if he looked surprised by his own mirth. As much as he'd contemplated making himself as cold and stone-faced as Mr. Amtrum, maybe he just didn't have that in him. "Don't sell yourself short, it's a good point. I probably think about the past more than I should."  « Last Edit: Jun 25, 2016 5:41:54 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Jul 3, 2016 12:34:06 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I try to focus on what's going on. I guess it makes me a hypocrite, sometimes. I don't really think about the past all that often at all, anymore..." Savaak was the only one that got her to focus on what happened before, and while she appreciated it, she had other things she needed to think about. Especially here. Leif shrugged thoughtfully. Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Jul 3, 2016 12:40:53 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Why would you be a hypocrite? We all find ourselves thinking about before, sometimes." He'd been listening, still was, but somewhere in there he wasn't sure he followed where she was going. All he did know was that when he got her to openly discuss her past just a bit ago, she'd started freaking out, so he figured it was best to not push that button. "It can be easy to end up stuck like that, though." Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Reply Share Thread Facebook Twitter Tumblr LinkedIn MySpace Email Go to Previous Thread Next Thread Please make a selection first