« Prev 1 2 3 4 Next » Reply Share Thread Facebook Twitter Tumblr LinkedIn MySpace Email Go to Previous Thread Next Thread Please make a selection first Author Topic: Walkabout (Leif) (Read 946 times) Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Apr 5, 2016 23:28:43 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Aaron couldn't stand being in that base for another minute. So he didn't stay in there, simple is as simple does. It would be more walking around and getting used to the prosthetics anyway, and he'd need that for what's ahead. He'd need to be used to moving around again, making sure he could support himself; the doctors had said these would do for now, that once he was used to them and past all the pain they could maybe explore other options, but there wasn't much time for those. He'd not signed up so much as asked, but Turkey still loomed. At least the city was nice. He didn't speak a word of Arabic, so he couldn't understand any of the conversations going on around him, but they didn't gawk at him, and they all seemed happy with the threat of the Empire no longer looming over them. Sure, the fighting raged on elsewhere, but Syria wasn't in danger of being overrun any more. Seeing the relief on people's faces, the aura of fear that had lingered over the city during the fighting gone, that almost warmed his heart again. Not to mention the fact he could just walk around and not have to think about sniper fire or ambushes or anything like that. He didn't actually know where he was heading, just that he'd left home base behind a bit ago and was focussed on just walking, through the pain and faint sweat from the desert heat. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Apr 6, 2016 2:39:39 GMT -6 via mobile » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Leif had found a local that spoke English, chatting with him idly and tilting her head to listen to whatever he was saying. Obviously, the conversation entertained her. When it ended, she wandered away from him, waving, and started listening to the song playing over her headphones. She hummed along with it, walking back towards base. She almost passed by Aaron but shock stopped her in her tracks. "Aaron? Dude, the FUCK are you doing out and about?" Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Apr 6, 2016 2:55:55 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Aaron actually jumped a little at the sudden shout, having spotted her a moment too late, but regained his composure quickly enough, offering her a calm shrug. He really didn't want to draw that much attention to things, and some of the pedestrians milling around, hearing the yelling in English, had turned to look at them. Ignore them, Aaron, just... try to relax. Be your old self if you can. Your old old self, the one that was worth something. "I needed air, and I needed to... get used to things," he said, calm, as relaxed as he could manage. "Wasn't exactly going far, just a little stroll." Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Apr 6, 2016 10:28:42 GMT -6 via mobile » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Leif shook her head. She hadn't exactly yelled, but she had emphasized a curse word. She isn't a terribly loud person, after all. Looking at Aaron, her sapphire eyes were hard, unyielding. "Seriously. You're going to try and go on that mission, aren't you?" Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Apr 6, 2016 10:50:50 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Right now, all I'm doing is going for a walk;  I didn't want to sit in that room feeling sorry for myself, and they said I should move around, get used to everything, keep my muscles from atrophying." All right, so technically he dodged the question, but he wasn't sure. He'd asked them if they would give him a space on the team, but hadn't thought about what he would do on the off chance they said yes - frankly, he expected a no. In which case he would probably argue the point, but still. Why go? It's not his fight, is it? But maybe after he'd already involved himself so much against Clavish, after he was why Clavish was still out there hurting people, after Sarah told him everything there was to tell him about herself and all the evil things Clavish had done to her and to other people while she was with the bastard, he wanted to be there for the end. To make sure that animal went down and stayed down. That wasn't the right way to think about people, any people, no matter how evil... but he couldn't help it. Not with Clavish. He really, truly hated that "man" to his very core. The stares from pedestrians faded, as they all decided nothing exciting was about to happen and went about their business, which helped Aaron a bit. He was able to meet Leif's eyes, though his gaze wasn't as hard as hers, just to be polite. « Last Edit: May 12, 2016 19:24:52 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 15:12:16 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "And here I thought I had actually... made some headway. Or something." Leif sighed and shook her head again, crossing her arms under the soft curve of her breasts, looking away from the shadow manipulator. "Look. If you want to bullshit yourself, go ahead. But don't bullshit me, alright? If you go on this mission, this will probably be our last conversation, so respect me enough to be honest with me." Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 15:25:45 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "It wouldn't be. And you have." She was going to say anything he said other than agreeing with her was bullshit, wasn't she? That was the impression he got, as the desert heat sunk into his bones. His eyes had followed the movement of her arms for a moment, lingered on her chest for another - rather long - moment before he realised where he was looking, and he blinked and took his gaze back up in time for the second thing she said to him. Try not to think about that, Aaron. Be honest, huh? He liked to think he always was. Too honest maybe. Too open. It was his turn to sigh, hands in pockets and shoulders raising in a little shrug. "Part of me does want to go out there, even though if you asked me I couldn't tell you why. The idea scares the hell out of me, and there are probably better reasons not to go than to go." At least, it wouldn't be an answer that made much sense. « Last Edit: Jun 15, 2016 1:52:23 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 15:32:30 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top At least he was finally telling her the truth. She looked up at him, sapphire eyes flashing for a moment. She gave a shake of her head, walking over to him. She reached out to lightly pat his shoulder. "Come on, kiddo. You're out and about. Let's go get something to eat." Without waiting for an answer, she turned from him and began to lead the way down the streets, looking around her. It was easy to mistake her ever-moving gaze for curiosity, and forget that she was raised with a military brother. Everybody was a potential hostile, even the people she seemed to have just made friends out of. Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 15:57:41 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top ...Huh. "All right, sounds good." He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but that had gone better than he thought it would. Maybe if she'd caught that brief second he'd been checking her out, but luckily not. He'd been so used to everything he said just making her more hostile that part of him figured it would be more of the same - but then, telling her what she wanted to hear seemed to be what finally calmed her down, so maybe he wasn't wrong about it just being whatever she was predisposed to agree with. As the city moved around them and he followed her, he honestly didn't want to think on it too much. He wasn't sure there was anything he wanted to think about, but not thinking was just as bad. Not thinking meant focussing on the weird weight in his legs, the wrenching worthlessness he felt with every step, the lack of any sensation from the ground underneath him. She seemed to know where she was going, so he just followed, watching her but not staring, allowing the conversations swirling around them to sink in and occupy some space in his mind even though he hardly understood a word. The doctors had said they had something, it just needed some time to arrange, but he needed air. Needed to move. Needed to not sit around helpless and hoping while the world bled. Not a "no" to the procedure, but certainly a no to just laying about. Let them hem and haw and figure their stuff out while he got some goddamn air and acted like somebody who was still alive. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 16:04:02 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "If I haven't been able to talk you out of all of this by now, I'm not going to be able to..." She glanced over her shoulder at him, a touch of sadness in her bright eyes. She hated to think that he was going to run into a suicide mission headlong, but he seemed interested in little else. She had already basically made an enemy out of him and being hostile was only going to make that worse. "You'll either learn or die. I can't really change that." She offered him a shrug, sighing as she turned her attention back to the world around them. "I just wish... you'd listen." Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 16:11:02 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I am. Like I said, I don't even think I could tell you why it's got such a hold on me." If he'd known what she was thinking, he'd probably call "enemy" an overstatement, but he definitely had been getting sick of the way she talked to him before. Like only her own opinions and assumptions mattered, and anything else was just "bullshit". She didn't know anything about him, really, just the things that haunted him and pained him and ate at his very core. "I definitely don't plan to die out here, I know that much." Even if the world would probably be a better place if he wasn't in it. If he'd never been. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 16:19:35 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I don't think any soldier plans to die, Aaron." Her words were a little colder than usual, her shoulders stiffening as she thought about that. She knew, logically, that he didn't mean anything by it, but she couldn't help but think about her nightmares, about her brother's face. She reached up to gently caress the dog tags she always wore, continuing to lead him down the street. There was a tiny hole-in-the-wall restaurant she had explored before that she thoroughly enjoyed. Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 16:26:57 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I'm sorry, that's not what I was trying to say." Shit, he'd let his tongue loosen too much, hadn't thought quite enough. Hadn't really forgotten who he was talking to but certainly hadn't been deliberate enough. Was that his lot? Doing nothing but blundering around and hurting everyone? And really, was it even true that he didn't plan to die? How many nights now had he sat at the edge of his bed, thinking about how simple it would be to send a spike of darkness through his own brainstem, how quickly and painlessly he could leave this world to its problems and stop adding to its suffering? He'd told himself suicide is for cowards, but then, it was him who found himself without the nerve to do it. Nothing of value would be lost, but he couldn't do it anyway. None of that was something he let on to Leif, just continuing to follow her. He wasn't even hungry, really, but for her he would try to get something down. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 16:33:00 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top She wrapped her fingers tight around the tags, shoulders still stiff, teeth still clenched. She wanted to turn around and hit him, but that was something she had felt more and more since coming to Europe, with all of her memories so close to the surface. "I know, Aaron," she muttered softly, giving a shake of her head. "Look... It's a war out there, literally. People are going to die. We can't stop that. And we're just a bunch of kids, fighting the battle our parents started. You definitely risk getting killed, and if you're not ready, then you're going to end up... dead. That's the problem with war." She shuddered involuntarily, refusing to look at him. "But unnecessary sacrifice only hinders the cause." Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 16:59:08 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top He saw her shudder, saw the pain she looked to be in, and that killed any reply before it even reached his lips. He wanted to comfort her, despite not knowing what could be any comfort. There was a part of him wrestling down the temptation to just go over and hug her. That probably wouldn't help, he knew how he'd react to being touched like that out of nowhere and he hadn't been through quite what she had, so instead he took some very deliberate steps closer to her, just to be another presence. He could still be some support, hopefully. "I know." His own voice was as soft as hers, trying to comfort, to reassure. His own frustrations with her were irrelevant right now, and really, he did appreciate the concern. He wanted to at least put a hand on her shoulder, but stopped himself. For now, at least. "I won't throw my life away; no unnecessary sacrifice. All right?" She didn't, couldn't, know it, but part of him had wanted to go there for exactly that purpose. To lay down his useless life for the person who'd grown to matter most to him. Who'd grown to matter so much it honestly baffled him that he even still cared. Heart wants what it wants, huh? Should someone who'd chosen to dedicate his life to helping and protecting the innocent, to using his powers for the good of all, even have a "most important person"? Probably not. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 17:03:50 GMT -6 via mobile » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "It'd be a lot easier if I believed that." She looked up at him, trying to smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. She had listened to every step as he approached her but didn't bother to reach out to him. At least she didn't try to stop him. Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 17:54:48 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I'd like you to, but I don't know what would make you believe me." She hadn't outright called him a liar, but it did sort of feel like she was, on some level. He buried it, though, didn't think on it. Instead he tried to give her a smile of his own, even though he did catch his hand starting to reach out to her and stopped it partway. The one time he'd touched her, and hadn't been drunk or high, she'd threatened to kill him afterwards. Besides, he wasn't in the business of touching people without permission if it wasn't an emergency. Even girls, and especially pretty ones. His hand stayed out there, though, as if speaking to his desire to reach out. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 18:06:14 GMT -6 via mobile » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top She blinked and turned to look at his hand, stopping. She didn't realize he had wanted to touch her. "What's up, Aaron?" She asked, looking back up to his face, and tilting her head to one side in open curiosity. Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 18:29:54 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Oh." The scrutiny made him drop his hand, looking just a tinge embarrassed. He'd wanted to touch her all right, but he had, on and off, pretty much since he met her. That was something he'd fought against, really. Well, play it cool, Aaron, be honest. "You looked like you could use someone willing to reach out, so I was." That, and he couldn't really help it, somehow. Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 18:45:10 GMT -6 via mobile » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top That made her smile a little more genuine. "Thanks," she said with a nod. "Most people don't try to bother with my mental state." « Last Edit: Jun 14, 2016 22:13:30 GMT -6 by Leif Adamson » Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 22:31:34 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Her approval and gratitude made him visibly brighten, and he smiled back at her. His heart wasn't sent thundering like it would be from the same from Sarah, but he definitely felt lighter. He wasn't really entirely capable of non-genuine smiles, either, for whatever comfort that was. "No worries," he offered back, more at ease than he expected to feel. How often had he tried to get her to open up, noted that he was there should she feel like talking about things, worried that despite her claiming she was "Gucci" she didn't really seem that way? "I know I'm not great at showing it, but I do care." Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 22:36:34 GMT -6 via mobile » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "I doubt anybody is good at showing it. You ever hear of the five love languages?" Leif finally started to walk, again. She continued down the sidewalk with easy purpose, knowing exactly where she was going. She was careful not to get turned around here. Not when the risks of doing so were so high. Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 22:52:46 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "Can't say I have." If he had, maybe this whole thing with Sarah never would've happened. Leif probably wasn't talking about French and Italian and the like either. He followed behind easily enough, trusting her to lead the way and to know where they were going. « Last Edit: Jun 14, 2016 22:56:04 GMT -6 by Aaron Silverman » Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... Leif Adamson Agent In the Land of Gods and Monsters. [send pm] Joined: January 2016 Gender: Posts: 925 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 23:02:57 GMT -6 via mobile » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top "There are five ways to show somebody you love them. Gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, and favors. I'm sure there are more, but those are the recognized one. You usually show love in the same way you receive love, but that's not always the same as your partner's." Leif seemed to be rambling, her gaze still darting back and forth, her shoulders still tense. Until they got to the restaurant, she probably wouldn't relax. Just another block or two... "How do you show someone you love them, do you think? How do you know someone loves you?" Back to Top   Biography ;; Gasoline Aaron Silverman Legend Defense ... [send pm] Joined: November 2014 Posts: 3,701 Walkabout (Leif) « Jun 14, 2016 23:45:06 GMT -6 » Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Oh, God. Not this. It was the last thing he wanted to talk about right now. Like, literally anything else, even his goddamn legs or the Cubs season. Still, it was a good conversation, and it seemed to be helping Leif through... whatever the hell was eating her out here, so he would put up with it. How did he show people that, huh? Well, he could try to answer. "I tell them, but mostly with my actions. Gifts, like you saw the Christmas presents I got Sarah when I met you. Touch, doing things for them, worrying about them, checking in on them - I would fuss about making sure she was eating right and getting enough sleep and stuff, for example. Quality time too, I'd spend a lot of my free time around her, not because I didn't have any hobbies or anything but because I wanted to share them with her. Words as well, terms of endearment and compliments and outright saying 'I love you', though I preferred to try to show her than to just say it. Anyone can say 'I love you', you know? Words are just that, words; it's how you act on them that matters." He was rambling, too, and maybe talking too much about Sarah, and he hated even referring to her in the past tense but it wasn't like Sarah was the one actually standing here right now and actually talking to him like a human being with some value, was it? But how did he know someone loved him? Ha, there was a question. How? As if anyone ever had. "How do I know, though? Well, I guess I don't. The last two people to tell me they love me, that I believed when they said it, just up and tossed me aside one day like a broken toy. I used to think I knew from the way Sarah looked at me and spoke to me, how she touched me, how she wanted to be around me, from her getting me things like this," and there he showed Leif the watch he still wore. "Did you hear about that incident at Pearson Elementary, a while back? I got hurt protecting those kids and she looked after me in the infirmary, from when I got in to when they let me go. If that's not a show of love, I'd say it at least shows caring. But then, love isn't throwing someone away the moment there's a problem, or things get inconvenient, or you get bored." Maybe that was unfair, maybe not. Hell if he knew right now. Hell if he cared right now, and the bitterness was seeping into his tone. But he was getting sick of talking about himself already - she already thought of him as a "whiny little bitch" after all. "What about you?" Back to Top   Some things are worth fighting for, some feelings never die... 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